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Even though she's 99% hair, we find ourselves suddenly turned on by Kate Gosselin. Like freakishly so. She appeared on the Jimmy Kimmel Show last night, and damn if we didn't have to drop the remote and run to the bathroom for some "me time, and I don't mean pee time" right there. For serious!
And look at those cans. Does she have breast implants? Sorry if we sound overly excited here, friends. When 20 babies fall out of a women's vagina, we tend to never think about her again. But Kate, you've redeemed yourself. MILF Status 3000.
When I was asked to write for Liquid Generation, my first though was, "Yes!" My second thought was, "What the F am I going to write about that people are going to care about?" I have no idea what is going on in the world, and I'm sure that you, the LG reader, don't want to hear about my mom making hats, my roommate Kate eating all my potato chips, or my inability to feel... anything... in my heart... I am dead inside...
So what did I do?
I did some research. I turned to THE source for mainstream pop culture here in the United States of America, M Magazine. Guess what. I was not disappointed.
Less than 5 pages into the magazine I came across this article about Serena Williams' recent tennis win against Mother Nature (must be Mick Foley's cousin). Apparently, Serena shut Mother Nature out in straight sets, proving not only herself as THE dominant force in women's tennis, but also showing great ethical fortitude, as apparently Mother Nature has been trying to bribe her by sending her a gift every month.
Okay, you got me. It's not an article. It's an ad for Tampax tampons, the most ridiculous ad for tampons I have ever seen, and completely indicative of the kind of slovenly work that is being done in every corner of print media - people all around are doing crappy jobs.
I couldn't find out exactly how much Serena is getting paid to endorse Tampax, but taking into account how much she has been paid for other endorsement deals, it is probably somewhere in the area of $3 million. The photographer who shot this ad probably made at least a couple of grand for a couple hours work. The art director's copy editors, and everyone involved made a good amount of money from putting this ad together, yet they picked the photo that looks like Serena is squeezing out a fart, not celebrating victory.
Maybe it was all Serena's fault. Maybe she never gave them the right look.
All I am saying is that if you paid me $3 million, I would start using tampons, I would make the right face in the photo shoot, and I could probably even take the picture myself... I have a camera with a timer on it.
Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!
Boston.com outed all the celebrities who've had the Swine Flu, and good for them. These people need to be taken off the streets. They need to be banned from the public. I know these people are celebrities, and I know the entertainment they provide for hundreds of people across the world is important. But they need to stop...stop doing whatever they are doing. I'm talking about David Krejci and Chris Douglas-Roberts. I'm talking about that Rupert Grint. Landon Donovan, Brian Littrell, and that Melissa Rycroft, too. David Boreanaz, you're in our sights...
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE? WHY THE HELL IS BOSTON.COM TRYING TO MAKE MY HEAD EXPLODE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE? EVEN RACHEL MADDOW AND DR. SANJAY GUPTA BARELY HIT MY RADAR BECAUSE I'M ALLERGIC TO CNN AND MSNBC (Fox News all the way, baby!). YOU MEAN LADY GAGA IS NOT SICK!?! JON & KATE PLUS AND THEIR EIGHT LITTLE PIGGIES DON'T HAVE THE SNIFFLES YET!?! THANK YOU. THANK YOU, LORD. THANK YOU, SWEET EVERYBODY. BOSTON.COM, NEXT TIME YOU SEND AN ALERT OUT LIKE THIS MAKE SURE IT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT BEFORE I GO ALL CAPLOCKS ON YOUR ASS AND HURT SOMEBODY.
/KTHXBAI
P.S. I can't wait for this movie to come out...
(via Boston.com)
Jon & Kate Plus 8 Interactive Room
Now that Jon and Kate are officially getting divorced, we have been invited into their house to mess around with their stuff and find out what secrets lurk in their living room!
Kate Gosselin Wears A Bikini
Avert your eyes!?! Get sexy with yourself!?! We can't tell what's going on here either.
LOST Babies
LOST Babies features Baby Jack, Baby Kate, and all your favorite LOST characters as infants in this spin-off cartoon series exploring the beginning of the interwoven history in the LOST universe.
Kate Hudson Serves Up Some Butt
Wonder whose butt would win in a game of tennis: Kate Hudson's or Anna Kournikova's?
Mary-Kate is a Grunge Icon
They listened to Soundgarden, watched Singles, and talked about how much easier life would be if they lived in Seattle.
Mary-Kate Is Possessed
Remember when everybody couldn't wait for her and her sister to turn 18? Yeah, that seems like it was a long time ago.
Kate's Golden Ass
Kate Hudson is playing a homeless hooker Jedi space alien in her new film, finally a role she can really identify with.
Kate Hudson is Constipated
It looks like her "Goldie Hawn years" will be here sooner than we expected. Time to delete Penny Lane from your 70s rock star fantasy.
Kate Beckinsale is a Roller Girl
The "Pharaoh's Tomb" takes a stab at recreating a famous Anna Karina scene from the French New Wave.
Kate Beckinsale Goes French New Wave
She is a child of Marx and Coca-Cola...and she looks really hot in knee-high socks.
Assmost Famous
Kate Hudson may or may not be pregnant but she is definitely showing off her best side on vacation.
Mary-Kate Olsen Likes Gays
Why is he sitting like that? Why is she with this girly guy? She spent the rest of the evening kissing, in public! It’s the Pete Wentz syndrome!
Mary-Kate Oldson
Miss Mary dresses like Mrs. Finch from "Follow that Bird". She looks like she escaped from the mental wing of Shady Pines retirement community. Get a new look granny!