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Wheel of Fortune Fail
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Lindsay Lohan's Boob Song
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Celebrating the Fourth of July a little early.
Look. Yeah we're going to keep posting about Tiger Woods because that's the only thing on the news right now. So unless Jeff Goldblum dies in the next twenty minutes or we just fall alseep while writing this post, this is what you're stuck with so just deal.
So far there are SEVEN girls (or NINE, nobody really knows) who have come out and said they banged Tiger Woods. That's a lot of secret phone numbers to keep in your secret iPhone which will eventually make it's way onto the internet so that your secret sexy sext messages and nude pictures will be seen by the world! Respect!
In case you were wondering which of his mistresses is the hottest, we've got that taken care of for you. We're even going to add Elin to the mix because we're worried she'll be jealous (she's suffered enough!). This was a relatively easy task because the girls all have their own look. None of them really look the same. It seems that Tiger's only requirment for banging a girl was that she had a vagina - that's it! So here we go...
8. Florida waitress, Mindy Lawton. She looks like one of our alcoholic neighbors. "WUD YOU LIKKKE MEE TOOO SEDUSH UUUUUUUUUUU!"
7. Rachel Uchitel. This an old photo of her. In her new photos she looks like this, but more plastic. And less like her lips are made of liver.
6. Don't know what Tiger saw in Jaimee Grubbs. We guess it's kind of cool that she was in Tool Academy. Wait. No we don't. There is nothing redeaming about this chick besides her taste in short red clothes. Moving on.
5. Porn star Holly Sampson. Now we're talking. Now we understand why Tiger Woods would cheat on his wife: Elin obviously hated gay people. Holly Sampson supports gay people so much she's willing to wear a rainbow bikini on her boobs. That could be the only reason why he'd sleep with a porn star, right? RIGHT!?!
(click here to see the rest of the list)
Wimbledon Daily Hot: July 3rd
Elena Dementieva was defeated today at Wimbledon in straight sets by one half of the Muscular Sisters. Thus eliminating all of the hot and our interest in tennis.
Valkyrie Trailer
In theaters 6-28-08. The “July 20 Plot” on Hitler’s life is one of the most heroic but least known episodes of World War Two. Severely wounded in combat, Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg returns from Africa to join the German Resistance and help create Operation Valkyrie, the complex plan that will allow a shadow government to replace Hitler’s once he is dead.
Rambo Trailer
In theaters 1-25-08. Sylvester Stallone directs the fourth film in the Rambo series. In Thailand, John Rambo assembles a group of mercenaries and leads them up the Salween River to a Burmese village where a group of Christian aid workers allegedly went missing.
Secret History of the Bra
National Geographic's upcoming special is the most awesome news from them since we saw naked African women in their magazines back in the fourth grade.
Southland Tales Trailer
In theaters 11-9-07. Southland Tales is an ensemble piece set in the futuristic landscape of Los Angeles on July 4, 2008, as it stands on the brink of social, economic and environmental disaster. Boxer Santaros is an action star who's stricken with amnesia. His life intertwines with Krysta Now, an adult film star developing her own reality television project, and Ronald Taverner, a Hermosa Beach police officer who holds the key to a vast conspiracy.
Fireworks Blowup Mannequins
Some psycho decided to scare the kids away from 4th of July fireworks by blowin' up some radical stuff! Dude, checkkit, we can make 'splosions!!!!
Robbers on High Street - Crown Victoria
Robbers On High Street have been kicking around the New York rock scene for a number of years now, but if you ask us they’re going to be a household name after the release of their latest record, Grand Animals, due out on July 24th. So yeah this is a sneak peek into what the album has in store, and you heard it at Live at LG first!
Xplodin' Melon
This Fourth of July, remember NOT to place your quarter sticks of dynamite under your water melons. 'Cause den de'll blowd up.
Fireworks Wake-Up Call
What happens on the Fourth of July when you pass out from too much America-toasting? Your jackass friends try to kill you with fireworks. Hooray for freedom!
Suck My News Weekly: July 30th, 2004
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly: July 23rd, 2004
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly: July 16th, 2004
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly: July 9th, 2004
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly: July 2nd, 2004
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
The Angrey Leprechaun's 4th of July!
Send this e-card to your friends, family, or even those you hate. A LiquidGeneration E-Card never discriminates!
Suck My News Weekly: July 25th, 2003
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.