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So you've finally seen the iPad and made a tampon joke or two about it. But if my gut is telling the truth, then we're all going to be dead when the people at Apple Corporate murder us with their lazer beam eyes. Seriously! Have you checked out that iPad video yet? Here are some stills:

Senior Vice President of Industrial Design Jonathan Ive is responsible for make the things at Apple pretty. However, his eyes can see through your underpants and shoot amazingly designed lazer beams at your face, so watch out.

After he's done eating all the meat on your bones, SVP of Hardware Bob Mansfield, will kidnap your 13-year-old nephew and try to play video games with him. Or he might appear in Crimson Tide 2 - SERIOUSLY GUYS, DOESN'T HE LOOK LIKE THAT ONE GUY? JUST A LITTLE BIT?

Scott Forstall, SVP of iPhone Software, will stare at you from across the room until you're completely naked. I kid you not. He will not leave until then.

Okay, stop looking at them. You know what I'm talking about. This is getting a little childish right now.
In theaters 11-21-07. "August Rush" tells the story of a charismatic young Irish guitarist (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) and a sheltered young cellist (Keri Russell) who have a chance encounter one magical night above New York's Washington Square, but are soon torn apart, leaving in their wake an infant, August Rush, orphaned by circumstance. Now performing on the streets of New York and cared for by a mysterious stranger (Robin Williams), August (Freddie Highmore) uses his remarkable musical talent to seek the parents from whom he was separated at birth.