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This Couple Wants You To Buy Their Porn

By: LG Staff
December 02 2009, 3:20 PM

 

Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon this sweaty, balding dude and his frumpy, snaggle-toothed wife. They are going to make a porno together. From the UK Sun:

Lisa Brand and Tommy Barnes have earned £1,300 from three X-rated movies and plan to make four more to raise cash for a beach ceremony in Cancun, Mexico, next June.

The pair, who have four children, have played a photographer and lingerie model who strip for a romp, and also appeared in a threesome.

Lisa, 34, even dripped hot wax on Tommy's chest at a motorway service station hotel to recreate a scene from Madonna's 1993 movie Body of Evidence.

She also spanked him with a paddle. She said: "I was laughing my head off.

"I have told my mum and most of my friends. They understand. It's always been our dream to have a fairytale wedding."

         Tommy, 36, added at Macclesfield, Cheshire: "It's our five minutes of fame - something to look back on whe we're older. It has brought us closer together."

Yeah, Tommy. Five minutes of fame and LETTING THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW that your wife is in desperate need of some teeth whitening and Invisalign. REAL SMART.

 

 

Quiz: Which Porn Star Are You?

Quiz: Which Porn Star Are You?

Sure, being a porn star can be a pain in the butt (tee hee hee), but sometimes they get famous and make lots of cash. So, which famous porn performer are you the most like?

 

Jessica Alba is Depressingly Pregnant

Jessica Alba is Depressingly Pregnant

Cash Warren, you sir are the captain of the douche squad, K-Fed has nothing on you, you openly mock Jessica's pregnant body while the rest of us mourn what you ruined.

 

Breaking Fairplay

Breaking Fairplay

"Breaking Bonaduce" star and crown jewel of The Partridge Family, Danny Bonaduce, body slammed Johnny Fairplay for good reason. He's a douche.

 

Bonaduce Punchout!

Bonaduce Punchout!

Danny Bonaduce Knocked out Johnny Fairplay at the FOX Reality TV awards. No one knows what started the brawl, but it was widely accepted that no one cared.

 

No Country For Old Men Trailer

No Country For Old Men Trailer

In theaters 11-21-07. Directed by the Coen Brothers and based on the acclaimed novel by Cormac McCarthy. Violence and mayhem ensue after a hunter stumbles upon some dead bodies, a stash of heroin and more than $2 million in cash near the Rio Grande.

 

Hitman Trailer

Hitman Trailer

In theaters 11-21-07. A gun-for-hire known only as Agent 47 is ensnared in a political conspiracy, which finds him pursued by both Interpol and the Russian military as he treks across Eastern Europe. hired by a group known as "The Agency" to kill targets for cash.

 

Real Life Halo 3 Warthog

Real Life Halo 3 Warthog

It's good to see that the guys at Bungie Studios are cashing their Halo 3 checks to build totally useless and awesome things like their own warthog.

 

Paris Hilton In "Paris' Prison Blues"

Paris Hilton In

To celebrate her stay in prison, here is Paris Hilton singing a song to the tune of Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues.”

 

Got Pot?

Got Pot?

Johnny hit the jackpot this summer when he realized he could fill freezer bags with grass-clippings and make a fortune selling weed to Jr. High kids.

 

Johnny B and The Cheese

Johnny B and The Cheese

WQXR's morning show runs a *little* longer than normal... 'cause there's a WOLF in the station! BOIOIOIOING! (From Derrick Comedy)

 

Happy Birthday, Homo

Happy Birthday, Homo

Johnny Knoxville is a funny guy. And a good friend.

 

Skid-Mark Safe

Skid-Mark Safe

The "Brief Safe" can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you're traveling. These specially-designed briefs contain a fly-accessed 4" x 10" secret compartment with Velcro® closure and "special markings" on the lower rear portion. Even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will "skid" to a screeching halt as soon as they see them — wouldn't you?

 

Anna's Dead Son = $$$

Anna's Dead Son = $$$

Anna Nicole makes cash, Spinach makes you sick, and the Paparazzi makes Diaz’s day. Philip Norris has the stories, and he’s hopped up on “Cocaine.”

 

Cash or Hash

Cash or Hash

Can you tell the difference between Cash or Hash? We can’t, but that’s only because we’re high right now

 

Big Johnny's Wicked Smart Movie Trivia Game 2

Big Johnny's Wicked Smart Movie Trivia Game 2

Big Johnny knows movies and he knows how to kick your ass. Don't say we didn't warn you.

 

Big Johnny's Wicked Smart Movie Trivia Game

Big Johnny's Wicked Smart Movie Trivia Game

Big Johnny knows movies and he knows how to kick your ass. Don't say we didn't warn you.

 

The Angry Leprechaun Interviews the Cast of Jackass!

The Angry Leprechaun Interviews the Cast of Jackass!

Your favorite drunken leprechaun scored an interview with the cast of Jackass Number Two! Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pointus, Jeff Tremaine – the whole crew (okay, four of them)! Watch the interview, then go see the movie on September 22!