It seems like all the weight just goes to her boobs. And her face. And arms. Ass. Legs. Stomach. Jesus H. Christ, this girl's a hot mess.

This week Jesus talks about his favorite Christmas presents of all time: boobs.

Introducing the preacher that will make you believe in Jesus -- and Gas-X!

You can't find Jesus if you don't find Lil' Markie first. (Hint: he shows up about a minute into this video, May The Mullet Be With You)

Sometimes local news has global implications.

After Britney Spears ditched out on yet another custody hearing, she went to church! Has Britney finally found The Jesus!

Wanna scare the baby Jesus out of your friends? All you have to do is wipe the frosting off this window to get a very special Christmas present.

This is how Jesus really lived his life, as a tricky illusionist.

Jesus hated your baseball team and by rooting for them you offended his holiness. Plus he was betting on the other guys.

Bush once said he spoke to god and why wouldn’t he, he is Jesus after all. NOW PASS THAT BREAD!

This picture was drawn with one continuous line. Yeah, you're jealous.

"3 days my ass, you get back here you sneaky devil! Set your Proton Packs to resurrection!"

Jesus could walk on water, so what? We have yet to see a picture of Jesus performing any miracles while rocking a cool pair of board shorts.

Demi Moore is in her 40's and she still looks 25! She obviously drinks unborn children out of the Cup Of Christ. She has chosen Wisely!

An entire lighting rig almost falls on Hillary Clinton and the most she can say is "Jesus, Mary and Joseph"?? Even Bush knows how to curse!

Fergie looks like the poster child for the Theory of Evolution. Who walks like this and what's with those curlers? Jesus!

Thank God this guy took the time to make his custom rims beautiful. Now that's some fine airbrushing!

Rumor has it that she has a deal with a paparazzi company, and she's doing this sh!t for ca$h. Figures.

Weee-ooooo, weee-ooooo... looks like Jesus called the Fashion Police!

Blasphemy? Maybe. But who hasn't dreamt of a gay Jesus singing Diana Ross?