Leave it to Jessica Simpson to make cleavage look sultry yet painful at the same time. I can't take my eyes off her boobs, which is good, 'cause I'm deathly afraid of her orange freak-face.

Jessica Simpson recently crossed the red carpet in Vegas, where she had to wear weighted shoes to prevent her boobs from lifting the rest of her to the ceiling.

Everything is wrong with this picture. Just take your pants off, Jess!

Isn't that adorable? Yeah we love doggies too.

Yeah those things look borderline painful. Let's hope her daddy wasn't around to catch a glimpse at those incest-tempters.

Wait, why are you READING this???

Jessica Biel doesn't need a bra – she's OUR best "supporting" actress!

Jessica was looking pretty foxy at the 2007 Grammys yesterday, even despite her weird brunette hair.

Jessica recently changed her hair to a dark brunette, and started acting like the dye was melting her brain!

Jessica's side boobs are always worth a little uproar.

Puff Daddy was seen checking out Jessica Biel's Golden Globes on the red carpet.

There's pretty much no one in the world with a better body than Jessica Biel. I challenge you to find a hotter bod.

Two of the best butts in the business get friendly at the Golden Globes. Thank you, Access Hollywood.

It's called boob tape, Jessica. Look into it.

Jess just loves her too-tight outfits. We ain't your gynecologist, Jessica!

Let's just say that if I died and they used Jessica's butt as the pillow in my coffin, I'd already be in heaven.

Jessica Alba, Topher Grace and Flava Flav star in this award-worthy promo for the '06 Mtv Movie Awards.

Some perv at a Jessica Simpson concert decided to just film her mooseknuckle. Now we reap the benefits.

Jessica bangs John Meyer, Israel’s bombs explode, and a polygamist leader blasts off to jail. Philip Norris has the stories – and he’s completely un-Photoshopped.

Check out Jessica Simpson's new music video "Public Affair." It's filled with celebrities and boobs.