Lucky microphone.

Well, she didn't become a fatass after giving birth. But she is wearing a stupid hat.

It looks like Jessica Simpson might have gained some weight now that nobody really cares about her anymore. Unless she's just pregnant, which will make us care about her even less.

We definitely like Alba a lot better these days. Her boobs have that post-pregnancy bounce to them.

Jessica is as happy about her boobs as you are.

The shocking thing is you don't have to feel guilty looking at her, she's actually 23 and far from starring in any actual High School Musicals.

Obviously this is a thinly veiled blow job joke, the question is does Jessica realize that?

Ashlee Simpson's pregnancy has created what will be an epic "Boob-off" between Ashlee and Jessica, Master of Incest, Joe Simpson, of course will be the referee.

Jessica Alba posed as Charlie Chaplin for a recent photo shoot because she was told to not because she had any idea whom he was.

Finally she remembered she's Jessica's sister and that boobs are the family's trademark.

Cash Warren, you sir are the captain of the douche squad, K-Fed has nothing on you, you openly mock Jessica's pregnant body while the rest of us mourn what you ruined.

She was actually visiting her Goddaughter, dumbest parents ever?

Tony Romo, there is no way to have blue-icing make outs and a respectable NFL career, it's just not possible.

And that's not even why John Mayer dumped it her, it gets worse apparently.

She sure has a type.

Thats no POW, that is a POA (piece of ass). Jessica Simpson visited the troops to raise........um, moral?

After spending one day pretending to be homeless Tyra Banks claims she understands their plight. She also only spent one day in high school and proclaimed "I'm smart".

Most of Texas blames Jessica Simpson for the Cowboys demise and wearing their hat before the Super Bowl is salt in the wounds.

A picture that is worth a thousand words maybe but definitely not worth your 9 bucks at the theater. How does Sarah Jessica Parker stay uglier than her clothes? It seems impossible.

This week Philip Norris is appalled that Jessica Alba would destroy her body by getting pregnant.