I'll be able to answer phones, get drunk, start wars, and do all the other things boy presidents do, don't worry about it.

His cellmate was heard whispering in his ear, "I'm gonna do to you, what you did to rap music".

"See guys, a girl! Her name's Sophie Monk and her bangin' body is all mine!...why aren't we touching? oh you missed that, i was hetero-ing all over her inside."

I want you to know, that my boobs are back...And I'm here to remind you, Of the mess you left when you played with them...You, you, you oughta know.

Is he saying "can i masterbate"?

I want that game that goes like this "gagaga chkchkchck woowoowoo"

Sometimes I look at hippies and I see nothing worth liking.

Justin Long and Drew Barrymore were "caught" frollicking on the beach together. "Caught" as in after numerous calls to the paparazzi they began to pose weirdly on the beach.

After spending one day pretending to be homeless Tyra Banks claims she understands their plight. She also only spent one day in high school and proclaimed "I'm smart".

"I love you" three of the many words every deaf girl wishes she will some day hear.

"I'm not a dude" is the new "don't tase me bro"?

Score a little credit for Scientology and Will Smith as his film proclaimed "Giants lose to Patriots for second time this season 23 to 7." LRH lives!

Pretty sure the "Oh well I'm just a ditzy blonde" excuse doesn't apply to smoking meth out of a light bulb but it's worth a shot!

This purse says "I am strong and independent, back off". Or, "I am a terrorist, detain me without question for many years at a time."

Wow, seriously. You couldn't act this dumb if you tried. This is real.

American Idols should be thin and beautiful, not fat and radish haired. Boo Fantasia, boo.. And I don't mean the term of endearment.

And now, for my next trick, I am going to install a sing on my ear that says "In case of altercation, pull this".

"No mom, I am not crazy. I just want to fit in and be normal like all the other shut-ins at my school!"

On second thought… I changed my mind, tattoo faced husband.

S&M cage with penis opening? I have no idea… I just grab the pictures.