That's what home movies are for.

A parody of the hit 50 Cent song where Tom Cruise rolls into a candy shop to pick up the last remaining virgin in Hollywood : the young and innocent Katie Holmes.

It's called elected amputation and it involves people performing their own medical procedures at home.

Rugby players are crazy. Why play a sport where you get the crap beat out of you, when you can stay at home and jerk off?

A stainless steal temple is important for all true believers. Nothing says "God loves you", like an expensive temple built in a village in which most the people starve to death.

For those tough days shopping at Wal Mart. Just watch those urchin shoppers flee!

"Yeah, I could be sending this money to the troops for body armor, but I REALLY need this iPhone."

In theaters 3-28-08. Back home in Texas after fighting in Iraq, a soldier refuses to return to battle despite the government mandate requiring him to do so.

In theaters 2-18-08. Based on the Steven Gould novel, "Jumper" follows a young man from a broken home who discovers that he has the ability to teleport. In his quest for the man he believes is responsible for the death of his mother, the kid draws the attention of the National Security Agency and another youth with the same abilities.

The Wonder Years would have been pretty boring without the bad guy from Home Alone narrating, not Joe Pesci, the other guy.

In theaters 12-21-07. Based on the hit Broadway musical which tells the infamous story of Benjamin Barker, a.k.a Sweeney Todd, who sets up a barber shop down in London which is the basis for a sinister partnership with his fellow tenant, Mrs. Lovett.

If there ever was a home for an ugly modeling agency, its jolly ole England. No shortage on broken noses and ugly teeth there. Think Winehouse has a contract?

In theaters 2-15-08. A family settles into its vacation home, which happens to be the next stop for a pair of young, articulate, white-gloved serial killers on an excursion through the neighborhood.

We applaud a woman who goes outside with no make up, but we would applaud you more if you brought along some sort of mask, or peper spray for our eyes.

Who else but Dr. Emmett Brown would build such a complex and useless contraption in their home?

This guy takes all the fun out of injecting some steriods, smashing some homers, and imitating your favorite MLB players' home run trot. Dude is unhittable!

"I have such a busy day ahead of me, I have to get these groceries home before they thaw out"

A 60 foot slide from the roof with a ramp at the end. Kudos to the kids for building it and then soundtracking the video with decent music.

These little women are going out to shop in the Shire.

Quato, the talking fetus from Total Recall has FINALLY found new work! Thank God, watch him this fall on Fox, your home for quality entertainment.