Paris & Nikki Hilton and Nicole Richie are seen here posing with Michael Jackson. Weirder still is the old man next to them with the oxygen machine.

At one time, Paris used a fake Ohio ID. The weirdest part? It lists her eyes as green, even though she has naturally brown eyes and wears blue contacts!

Here's a surprise: Paris Hilton likes to get trashed with friends. And then she likes to take pictures of herself.

Paris Hilton’s belongings! We’ve found’em! You’ll want them! And most all – you’ll want to have sex with them!

Some of Paris Hilton's possessions were auctioned off, including hundreds of very private photos and, journals, and video. Here she is pretending to be clean. LIAR!

Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton are pegged to host a new reality TV series that basically gets virgins laid. It's being made by the same guy that released the Paris Hilton sex tape, so you know it's gonna be classy.

Paris Hilton donned this ensemble willingly. Shudder.

Paris doesn't wear bras, that part is certain.

Paris Hilton was spotted washing off at a Bondi Beach outdoor shower recently. Those onlookers' expressions are priceless.

There's a first. Paris acting like a drunken slut. Again.

Paris & Nikki got frisky and weird in their limo over the weekend. Eww, bitches, you're SISTERS!

"I'm Paris Hilton and I can do whatever I want… including walking my wasted friend out of my house at 6am in clothes I lent her so she didn't have to do the Walk of Shame in front of all these papparazzi."

The Japanese are truly the greatest people on Earth!

LG has scored an exclusive interview with Paris Hilton. In the video she interviews none other than – PARIS HILTON! She’d make Barbara Walters proud.

Later this night, Paris Hilton arrested herself for drunk driving.

If every 12-year-old's fantasy came true like this, we'd have to re-write the pedophilia laws.

Short textParis really knows how to dance -- and act like a drunk, pantsless whore!

Here's an art house short film of Paris Hilton. It's so David Lynch dude. Totally. Indie till we die.

Director Vincent Gallo put Paris Hilton in a microwave and all he got was this stinkin' video.

Paris Hilton looks extremely bangable in this German Yellow Pages commercial.