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This week a new face is added to the LG news crew. Lou Berk, our crotchety newsman, speaks with Paris Hilton live from her Five Star Jail Cell.
To celebrate her stay in prison, here is Paris Hilton singing a song to the tune of Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues.”
Stare at this image of Paris Hilton weeping in the back seat of a squad car, and feel the tranquility sweep over your body, cleansing it with its calming coolness. Om......
This morning (June 8, 2007) Paris Hilton was cuffed and taken by squad car after a judge has ordered her back in court.... and back to JAIL!!
Paris Hilton's wax figure got outfitted in prison stripes... good thing stripes are in this season!!
Sarah Silverman gave the Hilton heiress a good grilling last night at the MTV Movie Awards... Paris was hardly spared, and her face totally shows it! God, I want to hump you, Sarah!
Watch Paris Hilton in jail right now! It's live! It's boring! It's a great way to spend the afternoon!
Check out this weird commercial of a lawyer advertising on TV that he wants only one client: Paris Hilton.
Paris is getting into shape before prison, and luckily for us man-lovers, her trainer is SUPER hot!!
The paps were hot on Paris Hilton's heels yesterday as she drove HERSELF to a lawyer meeting, after previously getting rides from mom Kathy. Paris, you're bad!
Watch a simulation of Paris Hilton's soon-to-come behind-bars sexcapades!
Paris Hilton constantly inspires art. That's why someone made a wax rendition of her in the middle of a suicide attempt. That won't get you out of prison, Paris!!
Even the wind is against Ms. Hilton as she leaves a courthouse appearance. Remember, Paris, behind bars you only get two pairs of undies per week!
Perez Hilton is the reigning gossip queen on the internet, and our beloved Henry has a few choice words for him.
Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis, larger brother of Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis, attended Paris Hilton's recent birthday bash in Vegas. It appears as though he pissed himself, as well!
Paris Hilton showed up at her own birthday party with what looked like foundation clumsily smeared on her face, and sparkle lotion glooped on her chest. Doing your make-up in the limo, Paris?
The "Parass Hilton" buttplug is a must-have for any celeb-obsessed loved one this season!