Paris drew a picture for the good folks at TMZ and they almost threw it out because they thought it was from a retarded fan. But then they noticed her spot-on signature, which she no doubt practiced signing for years all over her Trapper Keeper.

Hand-dance to Daft Punk's "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" – fast forward past the beginning; the lyrics are when the REAL magic happens!

Apparently they are too big for their own good! How nice!

Christina Aguilera is still swamped with rumors that she's three months pregnant, but one thing is for sure: she wants to get into acting! She's reading scripts; hopefully they're better than "Glitter," "Crossroads," and "From Justin to Kelly."

"Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K" is the actual name given to this very lucky newborn. The hospital birth announcement page can be viewed at: http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440

Stick figure animations are the best! Simple, to-the-point, and adorably bloody!!

There is sadness on Planet Unicorn – but it's a good thing!

I got an idea! I'll pull a li'l prank on my buddy while we're standing on the edge of this mountain! Sound good?

This inspiring crystal meth commercial was made by the good people at Procter & Gamble for their new line of DIY house-cleaning drugs.

Every celebutard heiress knows that a good pair of panties doubles as a cell phone holder!

Watch him dance! Watch him find romance! Feel better about the size of your pants!

As if hearing through those drive-thru intercoms isn't hard enough, this guy's rapping his order. Better to spit before than after, I say.

Durex has an amazing ability to make simple, to-the-point, yet hilarious ads. We love them. (the condoms, too!)

Paris Hilton's wax figure got outfitted in prison stripes... good thing stripes are in this season!!

I'm not really sure who TV actress Megan Fox is, or why she might be famous, but she walked the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards long enough for photogs to get a good shot of one stupid, nonsensical tattoo. 'Gilded butterflies'? Come on!!

Sarah Silverman gave the Hilton heiress a good grilling last night at the MTV Movie Awards... Paris was hardly spared, and her face totally shows it! God, I want to hump you, Sarah!

The Todd really knows how to "slip into" a conversation. Srsly, this is SO worth the 13 seconds!

George Clooney is looking extra gaunt these days, and that gross tan isn't helping him look better or younger. Just say no to Nicole Richie!!

At an awards show, Paulina Rubio decided to flash her thong-clad booty to the crowd, for some reason. Uhhhhh, make that for a VERY GOOD reason.

The best part of the boob is the underboob. Thanks for illustrating that for us, Heather.