This girl is like Survivorman, but a lot more talented.

Some might call this girl 'crazy' for liking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this much. We just think she's really...well, she's crazy.

Yeah, Bikini Girl is hottish. She'd be just plain "hot" if we never saw her on American Idol and didn't know she was so stupid.

One man, especially one who is British, should never have so much power over a female. It's just unethical. Like, spread the wealth, dude. There are other guys who want girls to go crazy over them, too, ya know.

This Gossip Girl surely knows what to do to be famous: show your panties. Just like Britney, Xtina, and every other slutsicle, Taylor knows how to get our attention.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

Jerri Blank from Strangers with Candy is the one girl we would never, ever bang. Fun fact! Here are the 10 trashiest quotes from the cult show.

Nothing like a girl on girl fight to make a horrible movie watchable. And sexy!

You will never watch Jurassic Park the same way again, girl.

Lindsay Lohan almost looks like a little boy. EAT A SANDWICH, GIRL!

This is sexist because it's true.

We reacted the same way when we saw the trailer for New Moon -- and we have man parts.

You don't have to see this girl's face; it's busted. Instead, look at the ocean...the beach...that dude with the towel on his head. If you like, you can also look at Shauna's boobs.

What’s the best thing about summer? Hint: They’re awesome and they barely cover hot girls’ junk.

These girls are going to watch this video in ten years and realize that they were never cute and adorable as a kid, but scary and AXE-murderer-ish.

Normally we're against breast implants. But Bikini Girl's new boobs make her face look a lot less stupid, so we approve!

Kara, why did you hide what's underneath your clothes throughout the whole season? We find you a lot less annoying and totally pointless now.

Just face it: you will never get a girl as hot as Hayden, just continue to be a big fat dork.

Are you a girl? Has one of your friends dissed you behind your back or boned your boyfriend? Then this tutorial is for you!

Oksana Pochepa is the Russian pop star who's allegedly banging Mel Gibson. We salute you, Mel Gibson. Girls who don't speak English are sexy.