Kris Allen looks so happy to be the next Ruben Studdard.

Alert! Alert! Lily Allen is not exactly a fat slob anymore! She just might be bangable again! Alert! Alert!

Jamie Lynn Spears has had her illegitimate child. Congrats Jamie Lynn, you are officially more white trash than your sister!

The fact that you can even acquire a dress with Bambi's spewing blood all over the place is only slightly less disturbing than actually wearing it, rock on Lily!

Glad that's settled.

Pregnancy is such an exciting time in a teenager's life, she has her whole life behind her.

She's a lot like her sister, she has amazing boobs at a young age and seems destined for a miserable failure of a life.

Lily Allen and her two tree trunks were looking around in her car for some fallen M&Ms.

Jamie Lynn has taken it upon herself to go on the web and research what it will be like to be pregnant and have a baby. It's gross!

Jamie Lynn Spears has gotten herself all preggers! We do not need any more Spears children in this world!

The dancers and choreographers associated with Britney's VMA performance are worried they'll never work again. P.S. "Brit's" a ginger!

Woody Allen has finally opened his own school for girls… lucky bastards.

A quick glimpse into Woody Allens closet. Or, Carson Daily's rec room.

Carrot Top is the physical specimen of de-evolution. Seriously? His shoulder muscles are like L brackets! He is like a walking Chuckie doll.

Why is she wearing this!? Could Woody Allen possibly age more gracefully than Annie Hall herself?

Lily Allen was on a British comedy show and told the other guests she has a third nipple – then pulls it out to prove it! Surprisingly SFW!

What's to explain? Two chicks kiss. Awesome!

Watch two of the world's hottest stranded hotties fight on a island -- Gilligan's Island!@