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And they're still fainting over him.
The objective of any social situation is to make everyone else feel dumb and always have the last word. Here are a few issues to discuss at tonight's dinner engagement, and a couple ways you can be a pompous, know-it-all prick when talking about them.
Talking Point: Obama's Asia trip was a disaster!
Anyone who brings this up is probably referring to Monday's Slate article written by Eliot Spitzer. But you don't have the schooling to discuss international politics! Divert attention from the real issue by taking a cheap shot at Spitzer for the prostitution scandal (which I'd estimate is still 2 years away from being stale) by doing something like pretending to confuse Spitzer with Charlie Sheen, then exclaiming "Oh sorry, I can't imagine how I mixed those two up!" to peals of laughter. Fair warning, though, in the wrong crowd this could lead to an earnest discussion of Two and a Half Men.
Talking point: Prince William is marrying a commoner!
Key know-it-all prick info: The notion that British royals are bound to marry other royals is actually false (note the use of the word "actually" here. "Actually" is a really good way to sound like a know-it-all prick). They've been marrying outside their own ranks for years. And thank god, because they were becoming known for their inbreeding. As for any issues the Queen has about the marriage, whip this one out: According to George Bernard Shaw in Pygmalion, "It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him"! Everyone is sure to laugh uproariously at this, and you'll be remembered for the most deftly applied Shaw quote of the season!
I doubt George Lucas was thinking about sex, while making 'Star Wars.' But, after watching this video, it's hard to be sure.
10 Pornographic Star Wars Quotes
I doubt George Lucas was thinking about sex, while making 'Star Wars.' But, after watching this video, it's hard to be sure.
From the LiquidGeneration Office of Things That Are Probably Not True, we stumbled upon an observation by a member of Buzzfeed who seems to think that George Clooney is a big fat racist. Or something. Here you can see him standing in applause for Sandra Bullock at the Oscars, but he is curiously seated for Mo'Nique's speech. Hmm. Maybe he just doesn't like women with hairy legs?
Didn't really know Portman was into lesbians, but whatevs. ALWAYS NICE TO KNOW.
George Clooney Is Up In This
It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.
Bush's White House Invasion
George Bush already misses being in the White House with all it's funny gadgets and nuclear buttons. Help Georgy boy find his way back in without getting spotted by Barack Obama's security!
Obama Speech Writer Grabs Hillary's Boob
This 27-year-old Obama speech writer (left) is in a little trouble for grabbing fake Hillary Clinton's fake boob. We'd understand if he was grabbing Palin's breasteses, cause she's hot, but whatevs. If he likes man-boobs that's his deal.
PMS Home Shopping Network: George W. Bush Action Figures
Watch this if you want to purchase a George W. Bush action figure. They snort fake cocaine!
George W. Bush Torture Chamber
Don't like George W. Bush? Well now you can torture him without going to prison!
No Sleep Till White House
Hear George W. Bush rap about his victory in his own Beastie Boys-esque way.
W.
In theaters 10-17-08. A chronicle on the life and presidency of George W. Bush. Directored by Oliver Stone
Batman vs. Batman vs. Batman vs. Batman
In the game of life George Clooney is rarely a loser, this is the exception.
Star Wars Floppy Disk
George Lucas is always fond of replacing people with machines, sorry Mr. Williams.
Hillary Clinton To Run As An Independent!
Hillary Clinton just announced today that she will be running against Obama and McCain as an independent!
Hillary "Double Barrel" Clinton
I'll be able to answer phones, get drunk, start wars, and do all the other things boy presidents do, don't worry about it.
Clooney's Girlfriend Rules
Her name is Sarah Lawson, which sounds like "Sarah's awesome", and that is exactly what George's friends say when she does this at a party.