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Ginger Actor Engaged to Model We've Never Heard Of

By: LG Staff
February 25 2010, 8:39 AM


This douchebag...

...is getting married to this hottie.

Their wedding picture might look something like this:

But because Seth Green is Seth Green (and the beautiful genes from his wife will probably be filtered out because God is cruel)  their kid is probably going to look something like this:

 
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BREAKING RIGHT NOW! CHRISTINA HENDRICKS' BOOBS!

By: LG Staff
February 16 2010, 9:48 AM


When we first saw this picture of Mad Men star Christina Hendricks on the cover of New York magazine two things immediatly came to our mind: 1) This is the perfect women and 2) We will never have a shot at her because she obviously marries ugly douchebags, of which we are not because we were born with the handsome gene (this is a total lie. Everyone who works at LG is pretty much the ugliest person on the planet and if one of us were to come face to face with Mrs. Booby Hendricks, she would surely vomit into our mouths.).

And this is who's banging/married to Christina. I know! He's some actor I guess, and not even a famous one! His name is Geoffrey Arend and he looks sickly, like he might die at any minute.

 

Fat Aerobics Instructor

Fat Aerobics Instructor

We'd rather workout and makeout with Richard Simmons.

 

Richard Simmons: Straight as a Tree Trunk

Richard Simmons: Straight as a Tree Trunk

Richard Simmons is always in character. God Bless his family.

 

Paul Stanley's Plaster Caster

Paul Stanley's Plaster Caster

Paul Stanley's got some wicked eyebrows. Luckily with a little face paint and his chest hair intact he can still be Gene's effeminate sidekick.

 

Mutant is the Schwarzenegger of Dogs

Mutant is the Schwarzenegger of Dogs

This rare breed of dog has two mutant genes that lead to freakishly large muscle development. This may or may not foreshadow the downfall of humankind.

 

Huge Freakish Tongue

Huge Freakish Tongue

In a dark corner of a strip bar somewhere, Gene Simmons is eating his heart out.

 

Gene Simmons and Amanda Lepore

Gene Simmons and Amanda Lepore

Frankenstein's monster and Frankenstein's tranny. The perfect match.

 

Fainting Goats

Fainting Goats

These goats have a gene that makes them "faint." They're totally the nancies of the farm!

 

Richard Simmon's Explosive Steamer

Richard Simmon's Explosive Steamer

Richard Simmons shows David Letterman has steamer. I still can't believe Letterman didn't ask him if it was from Cleveland.