In a city full of terrible drivers.

With full credit going to Ron Thomas and Brandon Hale.

Played by a full orchestra.

Sure, there is a full episode of 'The Simpsons' involving Jay Sherman. But these are some of the less obvious, but equally amusing, cartoon character crossovers.

Now that's entertainment!

With his birthday less than a week away, I thought we'd check in with Jesus at The Holy Land Experience. The HLE is an Orlando theme park that approximizes what Jerusalem would have been like if Jesus had been of northern European descent and Roman soldiers had purchased their armor at a Halloween shop. Check out the full video of his crucifixion. It's sort of like crossing the Passion of the Christ with a Sea World show. In other words, it can't miss. Admission to the park is $35. They also accept donations.

You're going to end up at a lot of parties in the next 10 days. Some good, most horrendous. Here  are a few tips for getting out of a couple bad holiday situations.

Problem: Bad Party with more old people at it than you expected. What I do: Guerilla warfare. There's a laundry list of things you can do to destroy a party from within. Number one is clog the main toilet. This can shorten a party by hours, and if it's a small apartment with only one bathroom, you could bring it to a screeching halt right then and there. The best way to do this is with paper towels. Toilet paper is made to break up in water; paper towels are made to keep their structure as well as possible. Smuggle paper towels into the bathroom. This might be tough to pull off; if people are around, do it one at a time, like how Andy Dufresne smuggled the pieces of his cell wall into the yard in Shawshank Redemption. When you have a bunch, flush 'em. Once the problem is known to the host, say something like "thanks for having us, looks like you've got your hands full, though!"
Continue reading...

I once ran, full speed, into a glass door. It hurt, but I was grateful I didn't go through it.

Remember, Burning Man looks fun...but it's full of filthy stinking hippies.

Our old friend Chuck McCarthy is on the hunt for a job, a job of chronic masturbation and full-time sadness at ChatRoulette.com. Here is his application video. I reached out to him to see if he got the job, but he was in the bathroom with his laptop, masturbating of course.

We really can't decide sometimes because everything about this video is full of WIN (and FAIL!).

Look. Yeah we're going to keep posting about Tiger Woods because that's the only thing on the news right now. So unless Jeff Goldblum dies in the next twenty minutes or we just fall alseep while writing this post, this is what you're stuck with so just deal.

So far there are SEVEN girls (or NINE, nobody really knows) who have come out and said they banged Tiger Woods. That's a lot of secret phone numbers to keep in your secret iPhone which will eventually make it's way onto the internet so that your secret sexy sext messages and nude pictures will be seen by the world! Respect!

In case you were wondering which of his mistresses is the hottest, we've got that taken care of for you. We're even going to add Elin to the mix because we're worried she'll be jealous (she's suffered enough!). This was a relatively easy task because the girls all have their own look. None of them really look the same. It seems that Tiger's only requirment for banging a girl was that she had a vagina - that's it! So here we go...

8. Florida waitress, Mindy Lawton. She looks like one of our alcoholic neighbors. "WUD YOU LIKKKE MEE TOOO SEDUSH UUUUUUUUUUU!"

7. Rachel Uchitel. This an old photo of her. In her new photos she looks like this, but more plastic. And less like her lips are made of liver.

6. Don't know what Tiger saw in Jaimee Grubbs. We guess it's kind of cool that she was in Tool Academy. Wait. No we don't. There is nothing redeaming about this chick besides her taste in short red clothes. Moving on.

5. Porn star Holly Sampson. Now we're talking. Now we understand why Tiger Woods would cheat on his wife: Elin obviously hated gay people. Holly Sampson supports gay people so much she's willing to wear a rainbow bikini on her boobs. That could be the only reason why he'd sleep with a porn star, right? RIGHT!?!

(click here to see the rest of the list)