Finally, a cure for diabetes!

The PMS Home Shopping Network has an exclusive offer on the new Jonas Brothers' Purity Ring! Now you can't get laid either!

Test media, please don't remove for some time

Watch as this bird totally threatens to cap this mofo and steal his food. Okay, maybe just steal his food.

Watch this if you want to purchase a George W. Bush action figure. They snort fake cocaine!

You want to know how good bacon is, to improve other food they wrap it in bacon.

It's adorable the way they make his small doggie brain struggle to acquire the food he needs to live.

Tell your girl she can leave the food and Frisbee at home. Just be sure to pack the boobs.

Eventually they moved his food off the top of the slide, but not until they were finished mocking him.

Anything involving a Hot Dog on a Stick costume is a winner.

For everyone who always thought Beef Stroganoff would be the ultimate tool of destruction in war.

Daniel Plainview would be the second best Food Network host behind Marc Summers.

Networks should seriously consider airing Japanese television during the strike. MXC is not enough.

Oh really? You stopped taking food stamps? Gawd, this isn't fair! Whose is gonna keep my buns warm now? Huh? HUH!?

This is the health industry's answer to sugary food? Cooking with ass batter? No thanks pooh, that’s one rumbly in my tumbly, we don’t want.

"Oh lady you don't know what you have done here. I am going to eat the hell out of your shoes. Prepare yourself!"

Black tribesmen in Africa use their evil foot magic to revive a ranting Rosie O'Donnell. Food everywhere cowers in fear.

Prison is a lot like school; you hang with your buddies, have recess, and eat crappy food. The upside is the food is better; the downside is the corndogs have no sticks.

Proof that the squirrel the in your backyard will do pretty much anything to steal food from your bird feeder.