After hearing about a new movie called Twilight: New Moon and that it's kind of a big deal, LiquidGeneration contacted the nearest middle school to see if anyone was interested in writing a review of the movie for us. This is the review we received.

OHHH MY GAWWWWD YOU GUYS YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS BUT I SAW EDWARD CULLEN WITH HIS SHIRT OFF I CAN TOTALLY DIE NOW. I PRAY THAT HE COMES TO MY SCHOOL AND SWEEPS ME OFF MY FEET AND ME AND HIM CAN RUN AWAY AFTER HE MURDERS BELLA BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME AND THEN WE KISS DURING STUDY HALL THEN WE HAVE SO MANY BABIES OMG THIS MOVIE WAS SO GOOOOOD.
SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD. I CAN'T EVEN KEEP MY EYES OPEN RIGHT NOW ME AND MY FRO9ENDS WENT TO THE MIDNIGHT SCREENING AND WE ATE POPCORN BUT NOT MY FAT FRIEND ANGELA SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TO GO ON A DIET BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LOOK GOOD FOR JACOB!!!@!!!! LIKE REALLY, ANGELA, JACOB DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST YOU WERE A FANNY PACK TO SCHOOL AND YOUR FAT HE'S TOTALLY NOT GOING TO BE INTO YOU. MAYBE ONE OF THE GUYS FROM HARRY POTTER LIKE THAT FIRE CROTCH KID, BUT NOT JACOB. JACOB IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ANGELA AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT BUT I'M SORRY YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SHOT BUT IT WAS SO NICE SEEING THE MOVIE WITH A BFF JUST LIKE YOU.

SPEAKING OF!!! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE JACOB IS GOING OUT WITH THAT GAWKY SQUINTY FISH FACE TAYLOR SWIFT. WHAT KIND OF LOSER DOES SHE THINK SHE IS ANYWAY. EVERYBODY KNOWS JACOB IS JUST USING HER FOR SEX EWEWWWWW. SHE'S SUCH A DIRTY SKANK IF SHE WAS IN MY CLASS I BET SH'E GIVE EVERYBODY AIDS WITH HER EYES. I H8 U TAYLOR DON'T COME NEAR ME!!!!!!
!!@!!@W!@!!@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!
THE ONLY THING I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE IN THIS MOVIE IS BELLA. I'M SORRY SHE'S JUST SOOOOO STUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND SHE BITES HER LIP WHAT'S ON THERE ANYWAY? DO HER LIPS TASTE LIKE LICORICE OR SOMETHING OR IS SHE TRYING TO EAT A ZIT OFF THEM I BET IT'S THE ZIT. SHE'S TOTALLY NOT A GOOD PERSON FOR EDWARD HER FACE LOOKS LIKE A TROLL. WHAT DOES HE EVEN SEE HER IN HER? I REALLY HOPE SHE DIES EVENTUALLY BECAUSE EDWARD DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER DON'T YOUTHINK? I MEAN, I'M SORRY IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S SOME AMAZINGH PERSON WHO CAN COOL AND WILL CLEAN FOR HIM AND GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS LIKE I WOULD. I WOULD TOTALLY ROCK HIS WORLD IF HE MET ME I JUST KNOW IT...JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE EDWORD YOU KNOW YOU'D LOVE ME FOREVAHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHH! CAN'T WAIT TILL PARTY 3 COMES OUT IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!
LOVE YOU.
If God was so smart, why did he design male genetalia to be 1) as low as it is and 2) totally unprotected. He gave turtles a hardshell and that animal is just about useless if you ask me. Humans created space shuttles, heavy metal music and Maury Povich. They should be protected, especially the itsty bitsy parts of them that makes babies. Such poor design decisions, God. If Steve Jobs was your boss you'd be totally fired.
Today, as Nancy Pelosi was walking somewhere and being important, a reporter following her totally crashed his balls into something that was not a Femaie Baby Incubator. Here's that video, and some others featuring guys who might not be able to get an erection anymore.
Reporter takes a dive. Woops.
We feel that the Japanese dudes featured in this video actually LOVE being hit in the crotch.
This guy's balls actually flew up through his stomach and out of his mouth, but you can't see it due to YouTube's crappy video quality.
Finally, these guys are true friends.
Ready Freddy is a helpful little Teddy Bear who wants to help kids learn about fire safety! Be sure to watch this with your kids!
LG’s resident sexologist is back with some barbequing advice for the summer! If you’re firing up the grill this weekend, you might want hear what The Spanish Fly has to say about the Great American Barbeque.
Here's unreleased footage of Michal Jackson catching fire during the 1984 Pepsi Commercial shoot. As you can see this footage is BANANAS.
These Hanukkah hotties can light your fire and menorah! Get naked and play Spin the Dradle!
Here's a German teacher stripping for some of her high school students. She should be promoted, not fired.
If anything sums up Bud Light drinkers it would be the fact they'd rather breathe fire than date a model, win the lottery, or create world peace.
He's a former detective, and well it’s not too hard to imagine a scenario in which he may have been fired.
Conan's hair may be the color of fire but he is not going to stop his show and flee for safety just because of a fire alarm.
A world-renowned gay bar caught fire this week. In typical fashion, the gays used it as en excuse to party and freak out the squares. Tom Cruise had no comment.
Dappled Cities flew all the way from Sydney, Australia just to do a live at LG Acoustic Session! Aren’t they jus the sweetest?! This is a seriously awesome band. For realizes.
Zsa Zsa late husband claims he was robbed and forced to undress by three woman, at gunpoint. Oddly enough they didn’t steal his car or his cell phone... Someone's pants are on fire.
A fire in a UK fireworks factory leads to – what else? – a massive explosion!!
I love rainbows because they're so damn beautiful and gay... but this one is particularly interesting because it's called a "fire rainbow" and is a rare, naturally-occurring atmospheric phenomenon.
These pyrotechnicians are making a wall of fire because they're apparently bored and like to burn things. Sounds like my job!
There's a fire raging in Burbank at this very moment… will the Hollywood sign be safe??
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