Choose your favorite girls from the college movie student body.

Oh, little puppy! Aren't you glad you're not Paris Hilton's? Oh, yes you are! Oh yes you are!

Transformers + iPhones + Girls = Pure Cyber Sexiness

This girl is like Survivorman, but a lot more talented.

It's not fat, it's awesome.

Some might call this girl 'crazy' for liking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this much. We just think she's really...well, she's crazy.

Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

Yeah, Bikini Girl is hottish. She'd be just plain "hot" if we never saw her on American Idol and didn't know she was so stupid.

One man, especially one who is British, should never have so much power over a female. It's just unethical. Like, spread the wealth, dude. There are other guys who want girls to go crazy over them, too, ya know.

This Gossip Girl surely knows what to do to be famous: show your panties. Just like Britney, Xtina, and every other slutsicle, Taylor knows how to get our attention.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

Jerri Blank from Strangers with Candy is the one girl we would never, ever bang. Fun fact! Here are the 10 trashiest quotes from the cult show.

Nothing like a girl on girl fight to make a horrible movie watchable. And sexy!

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

You will never watch Jurassic Park the same way again, girl.

Lay off the cheesburgers, Jason Biggs. Just because you're not working lately doesn't give you a license to eat every studio head that doesn't put you in a movie.

Lindsay Lohan almost looks like a little boy. EAT A SANDWICH, GIRL!

This is sexist because it's true.

We reacted the same way when we saw the trailer for New Moon -- and we have man parts.