So all this time my enormous gut has been a defense mechanism? Oh, yeah, I totally did that on purpose.

I think it's the little boy's reaction that makes the photo. Or the fact that her boobs are resting on her gut.

Old people are either really really annoying and gross, or surprisingly hilarious. Guess which one they are in this video!

She's still too fat – those ribs should be sharper. Chunko.

Lindsay and Paris DO wear underwear! Only they're wearing it on the outside of their clothes! Nice try, ladies!

Does the car hit the old lady, or does the old lady hit the car? It's like Zen, y'all.

And she stabs herself!

You’ve played the game as a child, now play it in all of it’s online glory! Pin The Tail on The Donkey! If you loose the game, you’ll certainly look like a big fat jackass! Ha!

For oh so many reason, we love the world's greatest funny-lady. But reason #1 right now: she makes us jealous of this gorilla suit.

Dita's normally extremely lady-like... and she showed off her lady-parts to prove it!

These 18-year-olds (they call themselves Peer Pressure) are dancing to a Pretty Ricky song in response to a competition that the R&B group help. Peer Pressure is available for parties, ladies.

What would these leading ladies look like bald? We'll show you!

Jessica Simpson's gained weight recently, and it's really started to show. All the spray-on tanner in the world can't hide these rolls!!

For some god-awful reason, K-Mart sells bacon. Maybe because they have to do SOMETHING with all the extra back-fat from the morbidly obese pigs they employ.

Vic Becks recently showed off her bullet nips, but there was something else going on with her outfit... then it hit me – Vagina Power lady!!

They say having friends that are fatter than you makes you look skinnier. What exactly is Kate Moss's reason?

Rose hooked up with Robert Rodriguez during filming of Grindhouse. Rodriguez had been married to his wife for 16 years, and has 5 children with her. Sucks to be you, lady!

Sacha Baron Cohen's smokin'-hot lady-friend, Isla Fisher, is with child. May the fate of Kazakhstan be saved!!

The answer: yes.

Getting off smack sometimes makes you gain weight. Just sayin'.