Persian bubble-butt babe and sex tape maker extraordinaire Kim Kardashian takes her ass for a walk in some plushy pants. It's like two fat kittens wrestling down there!

Jessica is the world's fattest child – and American. It's bizarre that this news story is done by German television, but it just makes me think of that chocolate-loving foreign exchange student on the Simpsons, and I giggle. P.S., you'll probably recognize her sofa-dance.

The question all women ask: do these pasties make me look fat?

Hard Gay is not the kind of guy you'd leave alone with your kids. So let's watch him try to make a little boy enjoy some food!

So all this time my enormous gut has been a defense mechanism? Oh, yeah, I totally did that on purpose.

This psycho kid needs his Unreal Tournament! And his meds! *With translation!

Our favorite Japanese leather daddy, Hard Gay, is here to make sure the kids are appreciating their daddies on Father's Day!

...And he's still an ugly man. Booyah!

She's still too fat – those ribs should be sharper. Chunko.

Johnny hit the jackpot this summer when he realized he could fill freezer bags with grass-clippings and make a fortune selling weed to Jr. High kids.

Conan sends Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to the Tonys, where he avoids all jokes about gays and how lame plays are. Just kidding, he's friggin hilarious.

How they found the time to invent Nintendo, Pokemon and S.A.R.S, I will never know.

And she stabs herself!

You’ve played the game as a child, now play it in all of it’s online glory! Pin The Tail on The Donkey! If you loose the game, you’ll certainly look like a big fat jackass! Ha!

You Damn Kids!

An 11-year-old shot and killed a massive, half-ton wild hog that was even bigger than the famed 'Hogzilla.' The kid's hunting career started at age five. Nice.

Call us cruel, but we love it when some jackass is screwing around and gets the short end of fate's stick. Especially when they're dumb white kids from the 'burbs and they're screwing around in their buddy's crappy Accord.

Jessica Simpson's gained weight recently, and it's really started to show. All the spray-on tanner in the world can't hide these rolls!!

For some god-awful reason, K-Mart sells bacon. Maybe because they have to do SOMETHING with all the extra back-fat from the morbidly obese pigs they employ.

Exclusive Video! David Hasselhoff's kid films him eating on the floor while warning him about not drinking any more booze that night, lest he lose his job. That's one sad dad.