Mr. Artiste could have made me anything in the world and he chooses to make me a bald, naked, fat man.

Hilarious IM abbreviations. Let Gunter teach you all you need to know about how to talk like a hip young kid on the net.

This kid takes a skateboard right between the 1 and the 2. The crazy thing is he gets up and runs a wind sprint after. That won't make em feel better son...

"K-Fed" is just so cool. It takes a whole new level of pure awesomeness to bring back late 90's gang signs. Their kids are going to be so real, ya'll.

Good news perverts, Hayden P-Something has turned 18 and is now legal. Bad news, she still thinks you’re a fat loser.

Listen kids, love will not keep you together. Crack might, just look at Whitney and Bobby at Joe's Crab Shack

In this Pac-Man parody, help Mary-Kate Olsen snort boatloads of primo cocaine. Be sure to play this with your kids.

At first it looks like this kid is a big old douche bag, but near the end he knocks the other guy to the floor, with some major speed. Wax on, Wax off my friend.

This sexy vixen shows us the value of a well placed morning stretch. And how to hide an entire army of pies under your dunlap.

Teaching kids eight and under about the magic and fun of Lindsay Lohan’s latest coke-fuelled party antics!

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles once made PSAs for kids. This one shows toddlers can avoid the temptations of marijuana cigarettes.

...Just to use as a comparison to Perez's version, and to those Yogis. Gross"

Blogger Perez Hilton succeeded in making Britney Spears look sexy and fit by comparison when he paraded hit fat ass around in a pink wig, flip flops, and a Cheetos bag. He even out-crotched her.

He must be hitting the buffets with Schwarzenegger these days.

Kim Kardashian has an amazing fat ass. I just had to post this photo.

Clever kids build a loop-de-loop on a train track... and it works! Of course they aren't American :(

Some psycho decided to scare the kids away from 4th of July fireworks by blowin' up some radical stuff! Dude, checkkit, we can make 'splosions!!!!

Persian bubble-butt babe and sex tape maker extraordinaire Kim Kardashian takes her ass for a walk in some plushy pants. It's like two fat kittens wrestling down there!

Jessica is the world's fattest child – and American. It's bizarre that this news story is done by German television, but it just makes me think of that chocolate-loving foreign exchange student on the Simpsons, and I giggle. P.S., you'll probably recognize her sofa-dance.

The question all women ask: do these pasties make me look fat?