We show you a picture of a beast of a man or man/woman and you have to guess which it is!

Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

If you're checking out a hot chick from behind and she turns around and her face looks like Abe Vigoda -- that's a butterface.

But really, who cares? Older chicks are awesome and if you don't realize that you're probably and idiot anyway.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

Lay off the cheesburgers, Jason Biggs. Just because you're not working lately doesn't give you a license to eat every studio head that doesn't put you in a movie.

Just face it: you will never get a girl as hot as Hayden, just continue to be a big fat dork.

Kids: Don't try this at home. You will die. This kid didn't die because he's super skinny. Most of you are fat.

Can you guys whether the chick you're looking at is hot or heavy? We bet you suck at this game.

Yes, Anna Kournikova is looking at your love handles and thinking she definitely doesn't want to bang you.

Meat legs. She has them.

This is how classy we are when we pick up chicks.

We show you a picture of a chick's face and you have to guess what the rest of her looks like. Is she hot, or heavy?

We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

Alert! Alert! Lily Allen is not exactly a fat slob anymore! She just might be bangable again! Alert! Alert!

Who would have known that underneath Chloe's disturbing lemon scowl there's actually a hot babe bursting at the seams. Despite Jay Leno ruining the picture, she's almost a 10.

Who would have known that fat Italian plumber would be a relationship expert?

We all know rock stars and actors got hot chicks, but athletes? Holy crap!