Just face it: you will never get a girl as hot as Hayden, just continue to be a big fat dork.

Are you a girl? Has one of your friends dissed you behind your back or boned your boyfriend? Then this tutorial is for you!

Kids: Don't try this at home. You will die. This kid didn't die because he's super skinny. Most of you are fat.

Oksana Pochepa is the Russian pop star who's allegedly banging Mel Gibson. We salute you, Mel Gibson. Girls who don't speak English are sexy.

Yes, Anna Kournikova is looking at your love handles and thinking she definitely doesn't want to bang you.

The best gamers are the ones that make nerds horny.

Rihanna's new tattoo is a message to girls EVERYWHERE. What it's saying, we have no idea.

We're not sure what these Rolling Stone magazines photos of a couple Gossip Girls is trying to infer here...they like licking ice cream? Candy? They like things in their mouths!?! What? We totally don't get this.

Meat legs. She has them.

We like the fact that some girls are just known for having slutty big boobs.

Can you tell the difference between porno girl squeals and video game hottie squeals? You’ll never know for sure unless you play this game.

We paired up some of the hottest guys and girls from the 2009 Oscars and leave it up to you to decide Who'd You Rather!

We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

If this girl gets any more hot she's gonna blow up -- the world! Hey ohhhhhh!

This girl really cannot pronounce "peanuts." Or she just has something else on her mind. That perv.

Don’t have a girl this Valentine’s Day? Then you should make a date with Who’d You Rather! And then kill yourself 'cause you’re pretty sad.

Alert! Alert! Lily Allen is not exactly a fat slob anymore! She just might be bangable again! Alert! Alert!

Who would have known that fat Italian plumber would be a relationship expert?

It seems like all the weight just goes to her boobs. And her face. And arms. Ass. Legs. Stomach. Jesus H. Christ, this girl's a hot mess.

Jenna used to be the hottest girl in the world. Then she got anorexic. And now she's pregnant, and possibly hot again. Maybe we just like pregnant chicks these days.