Don't mess with him.

Something no one should have to see.

Adam Sandler is a comic genius or at least he was. Here are ten of our favorite lines from his early movies.

No one wants their wedding day to be a fail. When it happens, whether it's a Russian fight or a drunken mother of the bride, it's darn funny.

Trashes bar.

Ralph Wiggum may not be a main character on The Simpsons, but he certainly has some of the funniest lines. Watch this video and see how many times you laugh at what he says.

The objective of any social situation is to make everyone else feel dumb and always have the last word. Here are a few issues to discuss at tonight's dinner engagement, and a couple ways you can be a pompous, know-it-all prick when talking about them.

Talking Point: Obama's Asia trip was a disaster!
Anyone who brings this up is probably referring to Monday's Slate article written by Eliot Spitzer. But you don't have the schooling to discuss international politics! Divert attention from the real issue by taking a cheap shot at Spitzer for the prostitution scandal (which I'd estimate is still 2 years away from being stale) by doing something like pretending to confuse Spitzer with Charlie Sheen, then exclaiming "Oh sorry, I can't imagine how I mixed those two up!" to peals of laughter. Fair warning, though, in the wrong crowd this could lead to an earnest discussion of Two and a Half Men.

Talking point: Prince William is marrying a commoner!
Key know-it-all prick info: The notion that British royals are bound to marry other royals is actually false (note the use of the word "actually" here. "Actually" is a really good way to sound like a know-it-all prick). They've been marrying outside their own ranks for years. And thank god, because they were becoming known for their inbreeding. As for any issues the Queen has about the marriage, whip this one out: According to George Bernard Shaw in Pygmalion, "It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him"! Everyone is sure to laugh uproariously at this, and you'll be remembered for the most deftly applied Shaw quote of the season!

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'Atta girl...

I doubt George Lucas was thinking about sex, while making 'Star Wars.' But, after watching this video, it's hard to be sure.

There's a brilliant series of interviews with John Cusack on YouTube about writer Hunter S. Thompson. You really learn a lot about the drunken writer! Really! However, there happens to be one videos about Hunter that's better than almost every other video about Hunter and it's not even about Hunter! The video features Gary "The Teeth" Busey trying to talk about Hunter S. Thompson, but the interviewer isn't getting the directing of ther interview right, so Gary helps him out. And by "helps him out" I mean "act really crazy."

Also, this is the best comeback ever.

Hello. My name is David Portado and I'm in love with Snooki. I'm also one of the illustrators at LiquidGeneration. Excuse how illiterate I am.

Early on in The Jersey Shore, we found out that none of the Shore girls were shy, especially my favorite 4 foot 9 inches guidette Snooki, who tried to hook up with every guy on the show. Yesterday RadarOnline.com reported that there may be a Snooki Sex Tape or nude pictures on the loose. Thankfully!  However, Snooki took to Twitter to deny the pics and vid exist: "Like i said before about my supposed 'sex tape'...There are no nude pictures nor will there ever be. the tabloids just love snook gossip ;]"

MTV just gave the boobalicious cart-wheel-showing vagigi and the rest of the Jersey Shore crew members a new season, with 12 new episodes to shoot in the winter which will air sometime this summer. So get ready for more fist pumping, sex, and drunken bar fights! The whereabouts to where they're going to tape it is still unknown, but I'm sure it's going to be someplace warm like LA so I can molest Snooki.

The cast of Jersey shore is here in LA taping the Leno and Ellen show so we have set up a trap to capture her and tape her sucking her favorite thing, a big fat juicy pickle!

Now that's a snookuation!

Stay tune in case we end up capturing her. In the mean time, you can find out How Jersey Shore Are You? by taking the quiz.

If you're going to watch a sloppy, drunken meth-head go on a car chase, you might as well watch this one. Why? Because it's FREAKING ZANY. What makes it zany!?! Benny Hill music, that's what. You can put Benny Hil music to Schindler's List and it will be the most hilarious thing in the world. In fact, we were just going to make a video of this to demonstrate but we just remembed we're Jewish.

We don't know why Michael Cera is hanging out with Jersey Shore's Pauly D, but we can only assume it's for a new movie role, where Michael plays an adorkably awkward kid from Connecticut who spends a summer at the Shore and fist pumps his way into the heart of every trashy, drunken whore on the boardwalk. There's also a hilarious scene where he enters a tanning salon and hijinks ensues! Here's to hoping.

More pics at Celebuzz. BTW, make sure to take our How Jersey Shore Are You quiz.