Dumb European students + even dumber stunt attempt + sidewalk = I hope you have some Advil.

Dear lord Michelle Marsh is running topless down the beach. If it were nearly any other woman on the planet, save Star Jones, it would be hot. But those "fun"-bags are like sacks of wet meat your step-dad is about to slug you with.

Paris Hilton gets escorted from Lynwood Monday night – a free woman!

Maury tackles all the tough issues that plague Society, especially bizarre niche phobias. First there was pickle girl, now there's Cottonball Man.

The question all women ask: do these pasties make me look fat?

Chrisopher Blue has apparently been soaked in booze. Was he drunk during his session? No, BUT every review I have read about him compares his songs to Tom Waits and says he has “blues-soaked vocals.” I dunno about all that, but I do know this is one helluva performance. Watch it…now!

Actress Kate Beckinsale has some dirty, nasty teeth that she didn't even brush before a red carpet appearance! Get thee to a dentist, woman!

HEY! Do you need gratuitous amounts of ENERGY? Then drink POWERTHIRST!!!

A dude trolls a Ventrilo clan channel with a Duke Nukem soundboard, and some woman goes absolutely ballistic about it. Hilarious AND geeky!

Apparently Tyra Banks thinks that grown women don't know how to urinate in public toilets, so she does a community service and shows up how!

Seriously, was kind of drunk jerk laughs when they're telling young people not to drink and drive? And who exactly was making this crappy-ass low-budget commercial??

Nicole Richie sent a sarcastic yet caustic email invitation to her Memorial Day BBQ that demanded binge-drinking and anorexia at the bash. Later Mischa Barton passed out.

Now that she's BACK in rehab with a DUI under her belt, Svedka Vodka has pulled the plug on hosting her party (as in, busloads of free vodka) and the tragic irony of a 20-year-old in a drunk driving accident just weeks before her 21st birthday starts to sink in. Fun!

We love Paula Abdul because she never fails to make us laugh. ...at how drunk she is.

She's like a 13-year-old girl who cuts out words and pictures from tampon ads in women's magazines to express her emotions. God she's stupid.

I went to the beach over the weekend and saw this woman whose sunglasses I loved!

Exclusive Video! David Hasselhoff's kid films him eating on the floor while warning him about not drinking any more booze that night, lest he lose his job. That's one sad dad.

Bill Murray was wasted at this New Orleans bar, and almost got into a fight – until some dude talked him down, and afterwards he bought everybody drinks! What a guy! AWESOME cellphone video!

I say she's drunk.

It’s time to play Who’d You Rather with Imus’ “nasty ho” pals, the Rutgers women’s basketball team.