Slip 'n Slide's are universally acknowledged as unsafe. This hillbilly ignored common sense and threw his babies like he's trying to get a 7-10 split.

Jade Jagger is a baby Rolling Stone and, just like daddy, loves being naked. Question is… who wants to see this?

Paris Hilton has begun her promised change for the better. Here she is holding a baby without dropping it or feeding it Frosted Cocaine Flakes.

Celebrate the 30th anniversary of Elvis' death by watching him completely wasted on stage. He did not go out on top, in fact he went out on the crapper.

Britney got drunk and topless after shooting a "video". Her assistant arranged for her to make out with an extra. He sold the pictures to pay for the doctor's visit the next day.

From drunk driving midgets to pregnant sandwiches, Philip Norris is bringing you the goods one celebrity jackass at a time!

Who needs annoying locks? This dog with childproof your drawers against the cleverest of babies!

A loving older brother captures his toddler brother in a collapsible tube -- watch him roll away!!

WEIRDEST COMMERCIAL EVER! Actually it's for a convenience store in Canada that sells Slushy-like drinks called Frosters. This flavor is called "WTF" ("Where's The Froster?")

ROBO-BABY MAKES ME SCARED! COMPUTERUS IS SHUTTING DOWN!

"Don't you like how your skin looks like a fleshy condom over my hard horn, baby? Yeaah, this is Pamplona, baby, don't I make you horny?"

A classic upside-down picture: old lady, or young hottie?

The stop-motion video shows baby Bumbo teleporting and laser-shooting the dog. What a badass!!

Froot Loops now have straws made of cereal to suck up your leftover milk! No more looking like a slob, drinking from the bowl.

Stamos appeared on a British morning show, unshaven and apparently SLOSHED, but blamed it on "jet lag," which I'm guessing is the name of a delicious new vodka in England.

Gamers play all night!

Proof of reincarnation! Egads!

This is not a lazer light show, its witchcraft, I say! Keep your glowning coat hangers from him, before he eats your babies!

Dumb European students + even dumber stunt attempt + sidewalk = I hope you have some Advil.

"Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K" is the actual name given to this very lucky newborn. The hospital birth announcement page can be viewed at: http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440