HEY! Do you need gratuitous amounts of ENERGY? Then drink POWERTHIRST!!!

Two things learned from the video: never drive in Russia, and uh... never ride in a car in Russia. They're worse than L.A. drivers.

Old people are either really really annoying and gross, or surprisingly hilarious. Guess which one they are in this video!

As if hearing through those drive-thru intercoms isn't hard enough, this guy's rapping his order. Better to spit before than after, I say.

Seriously, was kind of drunk jerk laughs when they're telling young people not to drink and drive? And who exactly was making this crappy-ass low-budget commercial??

Nicole Richie sent a sarcastic yet caustic email invitation to her Memorial Day BBQ that demanded binge-drinking and anorexia at the bash. Later Mischa Barton passed out.

Now that she's BACK in rehab with a DUI under her belt, Svedka Vodka has pulled the plug on hosting her party (as in, busloads of free vodka) and the tragic irony of a 20-year-old in a drunk driving accident just weeks before her 21st birthday starts to sink in. Fun!

We love Paula Abdul because she never fails to make us laugh. ...at how drunk she is.

Here's Mischa about to light up another doob. No wonder she sucks at driving, the girl's stoned all the time!

While the paparazzi chased Paris as SHE was driving in her Bentley, they caught a glimpse into her window, texting Paris Latsis that she'd 'come by' after her lawyer meeting. She's gettin' some from a dude before she has to give it up to her bull-dyke cellmates!

The paps were hot on Paris Hilton's heels yesterday as she drove HERSELF to a lawyer meeting, after previously getting rides from mom Kathy. Paris, you're bad!

Exclusive Video! David Hasselhoff's kid films him eating on the floor while warning him about not drinking any more booze that night, lest he lose his job. That's one sad dad.

Bill Murray was wasted at this New Orleans bar, and almost got into a fight – until some dude talked him down, and afterwards he bought everybody drinks! What a guy! AWESOME cellphone video!

I say she's drunk.

That dumbass Mischa REALLY can't drive. First she got into a fender-bender with Nicole Richie's car, now this. Take away for keys!

Bob Clark, the director of "Christmas Story," was killed yesterday morning by a drunk driver. Hollywood mourns.

This is totally the kind of guy who drives to Tijijuana with his buddies and picks up a whore and then later *flatly denies* he knew anything about her being a man. But you know he wants that.

"The Fox" showed up at her DUI hearing looking as good as she ever has! (And not really that drunk)

The couple that parties together, eventually will have to enter rehab together. Welcome to L.A., Beckhams!!

These two make a fug-fabulous couple! Who's got the flask?