Dear Helga,

I’ve always been fit, but recently, I’ve been stressed out and working a lot, and I’ve put on 10 pounds. I’m horrified by it, but my boyfriend says that he can’t tell the difference. I find that extremely hard to believe. Are guys really that nonchalant about weight?

Dear Tenner,

Of the few certainties in life, you can be certain of two things: 1.) men don’t fake orgasm – and 2.) are NOT nonchalant about YOUR weight.

Even though your BF may be carrying the last 50 beers he drank around his belly, your extra dime is a bigger crown of thorns for him than for you. But – he is wisely taking the passive approach – for now. He wants to see if you are really as horrified as you claim to be.

Get your tonnage back to the gym big-cheeks. You’re not following process. First you marry him and pop out 2.5 children THEN you can cut your hair, gain your weight, quit your job and whatever else you women do before settling on the couch for the next 30 years.  

Love,

Helga

Do you have a question that can only be answered by our uncircumcised, pre-operative transsexual? Write to him/her: helga@helgasmailroom.com

Or Visit: http://www.helgasmailroom.com

Or, better yet, get bent.

Most weddings are boring. Not this one. This one is sexy and drunk and awesome.

Update: Some people at LG are saying this is fake. Even if, it's a big fail on both accounts.

Oh, damn. Hulk has a Twitter and he's been drinking (Jager? What exactly is Hulk's drink?). This is not going to end well. Someobody get MADD on the phone.

P.S. LiquidGeneration has a Twitter thang, too.

(via Bryan McKay)

Excuse the dust around here, and all the little bugs and mispellings you're bound to find on our little corner on the internet. We're going to try something a little different today.

As part of President Obama's push to make more American teens read, he personally reached out to LiquidGeneration* to provide some word-based entertainment for you. Sure, you'll still see our award winning** animations and games, but you'll also see Words. Lots of them, as ordered by the Commander In Chief of the United States of America. So if you don't like it, don't be mad because we'll just ask Obama to bomb you. For the children. Because he wants them to learn how to read, through us.

Thank you for reading,

LiquidGeneration

P.S. - If you see anything you love or hate, we'd like to know about it. Just leave a comment below, or if you really want to make me upset and cry like a little girl, just shoot me a personal email: slippy@liquidgeneration.com.

*no he didn't

**Awards, as in the cookies our mothers give us each time we make fun of Lindsay Lohan. They hate her because she's one of those "fast girls." Their words.

Ladies and Gentleman, because we're a bit retarded and love a good throwback to the days when creating games that inflicted imaginary harm upon celebrities were not only frowned upon, BUT ALSO CELEBRATED (!), we have for you: Kill The Kardashians. For those of you who believe that this game is crass, wrong, disgusting and morally reprehensible: you are right. But you're also wrong, because we have no doubt - none in the world! - that you also believe Sponge Bob Square Pants is the reason your child is gay. Or something like that. Now to the offended, get back to work. For those of you who want to waste a little more of your company's time playing a fun game insteading of browsing Craigslist for bodies you can kidnap and keep in your closet, enjoy.

Play the game.

P.S. And yes, we still believe Kim Kardashian is one of the hottest woman in the world.

Seriously, if your kid is just going to narc you out to their teacher, what good are they anyway? Kids are for tying your shoe laces, grabbing you a beer and that's about it. You shouldn't have to worry about them telling everyone they know that you earn money making it rain for perverts. LiquidGeneration's been making games and animations about boobs and Britney Spears' drunk butt for years, and our nephews still think we sell insurance. Seriously! Every time I come home for Christmas they never ask me how work's going because they feel sorry for me. Anyway, there's just some things your child shouldn't know and your stripper job is one of them. Also: never bring your work home with you.

(via Don Chavez)