American Idol's David Archuleta giggles like the most adorable child/bitch ever.

"Running With The Devil" was a weak outline of Eddie Van Halen shredding until DLR got his vocal track down.

This week Britney, Paris and Jodie Foster get gay together, Scrooge McDuck is mistaken for Donald Trump and David Blaine is on drugs.

Al Sharpton is somewhere flipping out while David Duke is dancing. RACISM!

Bread makers threw care to the wind and cooked up a pope sized pizza pontiff. Alter boys everywhere concluded this is one church official they would gladly eat out.

Pete Doherty proves one of two things in this video; he is immortal or he's cooking frosted flakes not heroin.

This is the health industry's answer to sugary food? Cooking with ass batter? No thanks pooh, that’s one rumbly in my tumbly, we don’t want.

This week Britney loses her kids, David Copperfield rapes somebody, and other important worldly events. Philip Norris has the latest!

David Letterman sat down with Paris Hilton and asked her about the only thing he finds interesting in her career, jail time. The results are awkward and priceless.

Let's see how much you know about the creepiest guy on the planet since David Guest!

Tyra Banks has gone crazy. Either she has hired David LaChapelle for her new photo shoot or she is trying to bring back Alien Nation, the TV show.

Soon we will find some big media conglomerate was behind the genius of Tay all along just like LonelyGirl15 and Marié Digby. We're hoping Larry David is behind it.

A classic bit from Rowan Atkinson's stand-up routine reminds us all stand-up can be great in spite of what Dane Cook has done to the art.

It seems all that David Beckham can do on the field is injure himself. Again, he will be out for another 6 weeks due to a torn ligament. Robot Posh is pissed.

Beckham is doing his best to get Americans to care about soccer. This a start..

Hilary Duff is a true performer. At the end of her last concert, her loins exploded and a unicorn, magic hat and David the Gnome spilled forth.

Soccer Star David Beckham and his hot Spice Wife have settled down state side. Who better to give them a proper American greeting than Philip Norris?

Pam Anderson and David Spade were caught playing "slutty Hooters girl and handsy buffalo wings lover" recently, and now I'm totally freaked out. Gross.

This bizarre "cooking" show is hosted by a scary, alcoholic transvestite named Loco Mama – Rachel Ray, she-he's got your number!

KITT tries to talk some sense into David Hasselhoff. It doesn't really work.