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The Dangers of Exercise

By: LG Staff
September 16 2011, 8:30 AM

It's best to not even try.

 

 

Glass Door Danger

Glass Door Danger

Honestly, who hasn't done something like this?

 
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Glass Door Danger

By: LG Staff
March 14 2011, 3:52 PM

Honestly, who hasn't done something like this?

 

 

 

Like all people who don't consult the Bible to solve practical problems, I'm at war with Christmas. I wish people "Happy Holidays" , promote the idea of Santa Claus in order to deflect attention away from the role of the Christ-child, and accentuate the pagan elements of the celebration in favor of the Christian ones, which are in extreme danger with our country maintaining a paltry incidence of Christians at a mere 76%. And why wouldn't I? I stand to gain so much from the effort, I really can't afford not to. But we need a shot in the arm. So I'm mining the great war-mongers of the past for material. What do say, Genghis? How would you attack Christmas?

Genghis Khan: Well, first I'd find a few stores that feature religiously neutral decorations, like holly, wreaths, and maybe even some Kwanzaa stuff, because they'd clearly be part of the war effort. I'd absorb them into my army and ride to a store that has the nerve to wish people "Merry Christmas" when they check out. While riding we'd drag yule logs behind our horses to kick up extra dust and give the appearance of greater numbers. When I arrived at the store, let's say it's a Wal-Mart in Texas, I'd explain to the manager that he can either surrender, or everyone in the store can be killed. Then I'd camp out that night, instructing my soldiers to each light 3 Christmas trees apiece instead of just one, again to give the impression of greater numbers. We'd probably light a few Menorahs as well, just to show how at war with Christmas we really are. Naturally, there would be no praying.

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Dangers of Deep Fried Turkey

Dangers of Deep Fried Turkey

Next time I even consider deep-frying a turkey, I'm just going to watch these (far more qualified/competent) people fail in their attempt.

 
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Dangers of Deep Fried Turkey

By: LG Staff
December 01 2010, 10:10 AM

Next time I even consider deep-frying a turkey, I'm just going to watch these (far more qualified/competent) people fail in their attempt.

 

 

Babies Can Sense Sexual Danger

Babies Can Sense Sexual Danger

We wish we were as smart as this baby. We always fall for the wrong "lady."

 
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Babies Can Sense Sexual Danger

By: LG Staff
January 13 2010, 1:16 PM

This baby is smart. We always fall for the "lady" with the nice boobs. 

 

 

Enter the Danger Zone

Enter the Danger Zone

The perfect way to turn any gay man straight. I welcome, this guy.

 

Top Gun Motors

Top Gun Motors

The Iceman wants to sell you a car from "The Danger Zone". He will do anything to beat Maverick's prices.

 

Cocaine Energy Drink

Cocaine Energy Drink

The Daily Show takes a deeper look at the secret danger behind the new energy drink "Cocaine."