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Elena Dementieva was defeated today at Wimbledon in straight sets by one half of the Muscular Sisters. Thus eliminating all of the hot and our interest in tennis.

Caroline Wozniacki defeated Aleksandra Wozniak Thursday morning at Wimbledon. That extra "I" probably helped propel her to victory.

Maria Sharapova exited the Wimbledon 2008 tournament either for losing in straight sets today or for wearing a weird tuxedo outfit that wasn't revealing enough.

Ashley Harkleroad was defeated in the first round 6-4, 6-3 by some French chick. Hairy armpits should never defeat Grade A American ass, this is will not be tolerated.

Jelena Jankovic won Tuesday in straight sets, 6-3, 6-2. Jelena is the 2 seed in the tournament but she's #1 in our hearts with that skirt.

Ana Ivanovic defeated Rossana De los rios in straight sets 6-1, 6-2. She also looks nice in a sports bra. That's called win, win ladies and gentlemen.

A quick glimpse into Woody Allens closet. Or, Carson Daily's rec room.

The Daily Show goes in deep with their own version of the real REAL Laguna Beach.

Demetri Martin is a funny person. You may know him from the Daily Show, but now you can know him from his Comedy Central special. Here's a clip.

One man believes teachers need to be armed. Most well-brained citizens would disagree.

The Daily Show takes a deeper look at the secret danger behind the new energy drink "Cocaine."

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart talks about George W. Bush's fatness. Did you know he gained 5 pounds this year? The tragedy!