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Where's the Beef?

By: Prongs

December 16 2009, 8:49 AM

Yesterday PETA unveiled the latest ad for its "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" campaign, featuring Bethenny Frankel, member of People with Extraordinarily Little Talent Society (PELTS).

My Cheetah-lined hat is off to you, PETA, because your ads continue to intrigue me. I find myself thinking, as I cut into my still-mooing T-Bone, "Who is PETA's demographic?" Considering your recent choice of spokespeople, I can only assume that your research, presumably conducted by underpaid monkeys at typewriters, shows that your core audience is people invested in reality television. How else can you justify burning our retinas with the likes of Steve-O, Khloe Kardashian, and Karina Smirnoff? (You know it's bad when your last name is a brand and they still don't want you.)

It makes sense though. PETA's invasive studies done on bunnies, show that reality TV viewers are far less intelligent people who can be more easily swayed into giving up those necessary extravagances like fitted Dalmatian tees adorned with hamster noses, and squirrel-tail tampons.

And as for the rest of us, the nod-and-wink, upper-crust "Adult Swim" viewer? Manatee flippers make for a lovely corset.

Gayheart's a Crotch-Grabber

Rebecca Gayheart and her boyfriend, Dr. McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy, were o vacation on a boat when she felt the need to inspect his all-beef thermometer. And a little boy was only 5 feet away.

5470 Views | 8/19/2009

Adam Lambert Dating Shia Labeouf?

OMG! Adam Lambert might be dating Shia The Beef! We always new Adam was gay!

2485 Views | 6/02/2009

Japanese Pizza Commercial

I'll take a watermelon and bomb pizza with extra ears of corn?!?!

4423 Views | 1/16/2009

Movie Poster Game: 45: Anime

Buy your tickets, get your candy, turn off your cellphones and stuff your face full of popping corn. It’s time to play the Movie Poster Game!

5494 Views | 1/15/2009

Food Fight

For everyone who always thought Beef Stroganoff would be the ultimate tool of destruction in war.

1131 Views | 3/10/2008

Diabetic Dildos

Candy Flavored sex toys are nothing new, but this is the first time you can stick candy corn up your corn hole.

2476 Views | 11/02/2007

Bull Semen Big Gulp

Lord! Its like 300 lbs of all beef hotness broiled over a bed of sex! Those vaguely human features, coupled with those tumor ridden arms is pure hotness.

1415 Views | 9/25/2007

Alicia Silverstone Nude PSA

Alicia Silverstone hopes that she can hypnotize your meat loving brain into loving veggies by showing you her naked bum. We suddenly want more beef.

15340 Views | 9/19/2007

Beef Jerky Babe

Wow, nothing says sexy like a surgary brown tan and thigh muscles so strong, she could crack your head open. Snap into a slim Jim!

4248 Views | 8/24/2007

Kitten Eating Corn

You might have to close your eyes, lest the EXPLODE from the CUTENESS!

1782 Views | 7/11/2007

Non-Newtonian Liquid

When you mix corn starch with water, it creates a non-newtonian liquid – a sort-of liquid, sort-of solid substance that has amazing properties! Watch these two "walk on water!"

1189 Views | 1/29/2007