It's left-right, left-right, repeat. What does she not understand?

It's not even for make-up. It's for sushi?!!?!

Totally confuses dog.

Doesn't know if he's crying or laughing.

Trying to keep tabs on everyone WBC hates is more confusing than their rhetoric. Here's a quick and easy guide to some of the individuals and groups, denounced by Reverend Phelps and his followers.

Thinks he's a cow.

The objective of any social situation is to make everyone else feel dumb and always have the last word. Here are a few issues to discuss at tonight's dinner engagement, and a couple ways you can be a pompous, know-it-all prick when talking about them.

Talking Point: Obama's Asia trip was a disaster!
Anyone who brings this up is probably referring to Monday's Slate article written by Eliot Spitzer. But you don't have the schooling to discuss international politics! Divert attention from the real issue by taking a cheap shot at Spitzer for the prostitution scandal (which I'd estimate is still 2 years away from being stale) by doing something like pretending to confuse Spitzer with Charlie Sheen, then exclaiming "Oh sorry, I can't imagine how I mixed those two up!" to peals of laughter. Fair warning, though, in the wrong crowd this could lead to an earnest discussion of Two and a Half Men.

Talking point: Prince William is marrying a commoner!
Key know-it-all prick info: The notion that British royals are bound to marry other royals is actually false (note the use of the word "actually" here. "Actually" is a really good way to sound like a know-it-all prick). They've been marrying outside their own ranks for years. And thank god, because they were becoming known for their inbreeding. As for any issues the Queen has about the marriage, whip this one out: According to George Bernard Shaw in Pygmalion, "It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him"! Everyone is sure to laugh uproariously at this, and you'll be remembered for the most deftly applied Shaw quote of the season!

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Two of my favorite things, natural disasters and people who sound like extras from 'Dazed and Confused.'

The black and white cat is really determined to understand what's going on. But, I think the white cat just wanders over to provide moral support.

What's the deal with these tinfoil robot girls dancing to Daft Punk? Are they sexy? Are they dudes? Are they aliens from outerspace sent here to take all our Nutella and kill us? We have no idea! We're a little scared! But we can't stop watching. And dancing!

We're not going to give away the ending for you, but let's just say that Pixar's "The Terminator" will leave you laughing and confused for the rest of the day, if not eternity.