Everyone Hates Chris is staring at you!

Did you see Simon Cowell roll his eyes at Chris Richardson during American Idol? According this video, Simon has a history of being a heartless bastard.

This photoshopped picture of American Idols Blake and Chris got the fag-friendly AI fans out there all knotted up – until people started actually LOOKING at it and realized how fake it was.

At one time, Paris used a fake Ohio ID. The weirdest part? It lists her eyes as green, even though she has naturally brown eyes and wears blue contacts!

I don't know what these guy are – aside from clay – but they're adorable!

Water merely distresses Whitney; if you get Bobby Brown wet, however, he turns into a gremlin.

Dan Marino gets mad when he screws up his own lines -- but you should see him when Chris Berman cuts him off!

We've secretly replaced Chris Farley's coffee for Columbian crystals. Let's see if he notices.

Art Alexakis of Everclear stopped by our grungy studio to record a few songs, one of them being this cover of "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison. Also, Art has awesome tattoos.

Watch James Brown in this television interview from a long, long time ago. Is he drunk? Is he high? The only thing that's certain is that he's a crackhead.

This week Bush will address the nation, Google loves the communists, Joaquin Phoenix almost dies, Chris Penn does die, and Clay Aiken is gay.

We show you two celebs and you tell us who you'd rather…you know! Compare your results with the rest of our visitors to see how your tastes match up.

Your favorite drunken leprechaun scored an interview with the cast of Jackass Number Two! Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pointus, Jeff Tremaine – the whole crew (okay, four of them)! Watch the interview, then go see the movie on September 22!