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FOUND ON THE WEB
FRIENDS AND LOVERS
OTHER COOL STUFF
I just finished reading the January / February issue of M Magazine cover to cover. Along the way I discovered so many crazy secrets that had me going OMG 4 DAYZ and LOLZING all over the place.
I found that there is a famous kid named BooBoo, Miley Cyrus and her grandma are actually twins (the details as to what kind of time travel or cryogenic freezing was involved are hazy), Kim Kardashian loves big juicy hotdogs, and only Taylor Swift's brother Austin knows that she has a Britney Spears poster hanging in her bathroom! Oops! I just spilled that! OMG now EVERYONE KNOWS!
Don't think for a second that I didn't find some things out about myself, too. I learned that, as a middle child, I am "a total peacemaker who can solve fights that break out (solving fights is harder than solving puzzles)," and I also found out that I am going to catch my crush with sweetness and by not being in the middle of "drama-rama."
With every page turned, I found something more and more amazing, and on the last page, I discovered my favorite section of M Magazine. No SILLY! Not the end! OMG I totes never wanted to finish reading! No, I found the M Comics section!
The M Comics section is soooooo nutz! Demi ate some pizza and then, and then she, she farted in Frankie's face playing Twister! Yeah! He totally got "fart bombed!" Then, then you won't believe it! Noah and Frankie silly stringed "Niley" right when they are about to kiss! I almost died TOTES LOLZ OMG. The "lil sibs do rule!"
Now that I am done with this issue, I guess I will just have to follow @M_Magazine on Twitter to stay up to date on all my celeb gossip until next month's issue comes out!
Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration this week.
This is Coco, rapper Ice T's girl. Many of you would laugh at a girl like this if you saw her at the gym. Some of you might even call her a slut, skank, whore -- all those horrible words used to denigrate women who don't look like your mom or sister or homely wife. You might say, "Well, I can't be with a girl like that because her boobs are too fake," or "I'd never bang a girl like that because it looks like her ass is stuffed with two giant pumpkins, which are stuffed with warm cottage cheese." Well, you're a liar. You're a big fat loser of a liar. We all know we'd marry a chick that looks like this. We'd give her all our money, we'd let her have 12 of our children. We'd do everything for her because a girl who looks like this deserves to have everything done for her. She's the one you've been waiting for all these years, she's the only one that could ever mean anything to you. Just look at her. Look at that ass. No Avatar effects here. Everything you see is real. Now stop judging Coco...stop judging Ice T. Go forth and find someone just like Coco and hold on to her ass till your last, loving breath.
Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon this sweaty, balding dude and his frumpy, snaggle-toothed wife. They are going to make a porno together. From the UK Sun:
Lisa Brand and Tommy Barnes have earned £1,300 from three X-rated movies and plan to make four more to raise cash for a beach ceremony in Cancun, Mexico, next June.
The pair, who have four children, have played a photographer and lingerie model who strip for a romp, and also appeared in a threesome.
Lisa, 34, even dripped hot wax on Tommy's chest at a motorway service station hotel to recreate a scene from Madonna's 1993 movie Body of Evidence.
She also spanked him with a paddle. She said: "I was laughing my head off.
"I have told my mum and most of my friends. They understand. It's always been our dream to have a fairytale wedding."
Tommy, 36, added at Macclesfield, Cheshire: "It's our five minutes of fame - something to look back on whe we're older. It has brought us closer together."
Yeah, Tommy. Five minutes of fame and LETTING THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW that your wife is in desperate need of some teeth whitening and Invisalign. REAL SMART.
It's happend with Jesus on pieces of cloth and tree bark, and now it's happening with Michael Jackson on hospital baby scans. What you see here is not just a baby, but the majestic face of the King of Pop Himself, Michael Jackson. This is such a miracle, you guys. How blessed are the parents of this child? Not only does their child look like Michael Jackson, but he'll probably sound and grab his crotch just the way He did. They can only hope, we're sure.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Michael Jackson. Amen.
(via Telegraph.co.uk)
Dear Helga,
I’ve always been fit, but recently, I’ve been stressed out and working a lot, and I’ve put on 10 pounds. I’m horrified by it, but my boyfriend says that he can’t tell the difference. I find that extremely hard to believe. Are guys really that nonchalant about weight?
Dear Tenner,
Of the few certainties in life, you can be certain of two things: 1.) men don’t fake orgasm – and 2.) are NOT nonchalant about YOUR weight.
Even though your BF may be carrying the last 50 beers he drank around his belly, your extra dime is a bigger crown of thorns for him than for you. But – he is wisely taking the passive approach – for now. He wants to see if you are really as horrified as you claim to be.
Get your tonnage back to the gym big-cheeks. You’re not following process. First you marry him and pop out 2.5 children THEN you can cut your hair, gain your weight, quit your job and whatever else you women do before settling on the couch for the next 30 years.
Love,
Helga
Do you have a question that can only be answered by our uncircumcised, pre-operative transsexual? Write to him/her: helga@helgasmailroom.com
Or Visit: http://www.helgasmailroom.com
Or, better yet, get bent.
What the hell did this kid do in his past that warrants him being on an subway advertsment for losers?
Is he an alcoholic? Heroin Addict? Did he accidently shoot his pet dog? Did he push his grandma down the stairs? Hopefully he just murdered one of his Pokemon action figures or peed in his pants, because damn, this is just pretty sad all around.
(via Jennifer Favorite's Twitpic)
The girl that Mr. Belding totally wanted to bang, but couldn't because of legal (and grossness) reasons, is pregnant.
This got us thinking: What would Tiffany Theissen's child look like if she made it with the Saved By The Bell cast members? Well, we ran the sperm of Zack, Slater, Screech and yes, Mr. Belding, through a BabyMaker app on the Knocked Up movie's website (science!) and it came up with the results below. We can only speculate that if any of these babies were to shoot out of Kelly Kopowski's crotch the doctor would most likely toss it into a trash bin. Or she will. Or we will. Who knows? These babies are pretty fricking 'tardy for the party (if you know what I'm saying).
Excuse the dust around here, and all the little bugs and mispellings you're bound to find on our little corner on the internet. We're going to try something a little different today.
As part of President Obama's push to make more American teens read, he personally reached out to LiquidGeneration* to provide some word-based entertainment for you. Sure, you'll still see our award winning** animations and games, but you'll also see Words. Lots of them, as ordered by the Commander In Chief of the United States of America. So if you don't like it, don't be mad because we'll just ask Obama to bomb you. For the children. Because he wants them to learn how to read, through us.
Thank you for reading,
LiquidGeneration
P.S. - If you see anything you love or hate, we'd like to know about it. Just leave a comment below, or if you really want to make me upset and cry like a little girl, just shoot me a personal email: slippy@liquidgeneration.com.
*no he didn't
**Awards, as in the cookies our mothers give us each time we make fun of Lindsay Lohan. They hate her because she's one of those "fast girls." Their words.
Ladies and Gentleman, because we're a bit retarded and love a good throwback to the days when creating games that inflicted imaginary harm upon celebrities were not only frowned upon, BUT ALSO CELEBRATED (!), we have for you: Kill The Kardashians. For those of you who believe that this game is crass, wrong, disgusting and morally reprehensible: you are right. But you're also wrong, because we have no doubt - none in the world! - that you also believe Sponge Bob Square Pants is the reason your child is gay. Or something like that. Now to the offended, get back to work. For those of you who want to waste a little more of your company's time playing a fun game insteading of browsing Craigslist for bodies you can kidnap and keep in your closet, enjoy.
P.S. And yes, we still believe Kim Kardashian is one of the hottest woman in the world.
Seriously, if your kid is just going to narc you out to their teacher, what good are they anyway? Kids are for tying your shoe laces, grabbing you a beer and that's about it. You shouldn't have to worry about them telling everyone they know that you earn money making it rain for perverts. LiquidGeneration's been making games and animations about boobs and Britney Spears' drunk butt for years, and our nephews still think we sell insurance. Seriously! Every time I come home for Christmas they never ask me how work's going because they feel sorry for me. Anyway, there's just some things your child shouldn't know and your stripper job is one of them. Also: never bring your work home with you.
(via Don Chavez)
Orchestra Conductor Prank
Thank God there is always a camera rolling at middle school orchestra recitals, that way the child is traumatized for life and not just a minute.
Child Catches, and Possibly Murders, Huge Fish
This girl is like Survivorman, but a lot more talented.
This Kid Can Bust A Move
When Michael Jackson died, his soul went into this small child. The kid is now a very talented...but hopefully headed down a different path. Say No to Propofol!!!!
Slip N' Slide Fail
This is what happens when you shoot your child out of a cannon and onto a Slip N' Slide. Failtastic!
Escalator Attempts To Eat Japanese
Somebody should have fed the escalator a child or small dog before it got too hungry.
Beating Children Never Looked So Hilarious
Watch this guy beat the crap out of these little kids. Kung Fu really does work!
Child TV Star Match Up
Who could forget about the child stars of the 80's? Choose and match the child tv star with their grown up self!
10 Craziest Child Preachers
Child preachers are insane...obviously. This video has the ten craziest 'little ones' to ever condemn your soul to eternal damnation.
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LIQUIDGENERATION.COM INTERNET PRIVACY STATEMENT
This statement describes the privacy policy of LiquidGeneration, Inc. ("LiquidGeneration") for its website, Liquidgeneration.com. It applies only to Liquidgeneration.com, so if you visit other sites linked to Liquidgeneration.com, you should review the privacy policies of those sites. Also, this privacy policy does not apply to Liquidgenerations’s practices for gathering information offline or at other sites that it may own or operate. Also, LiquidGeneration reserves the right to update this policy at any time without notice, so we suggest that you occasionally review it.Information collected by Liquidgeneration.com:
Personal information.
You do not have to provide personal information to access or browse Liquidgeneration.com. However, we may ask you to provide personal information in connection with various opportunities and activities available at Liquidgeneration.com. By "personal information," we mean information that is identifiable to you. Personal information requested might include, for example, your email address, or, where identifiable to you, other information such as your age, zip code, gender and/or ethnicity.Automatic or Navigational Information. When you visit Liquidgeneration.com, we capture certain information automatically (even if you do not provide us with personal information), including your Internet protocol (IP) address, browser type, time and date of access and pages accessed. This "automatic" information, however, may become identifiable to you – and therefore "personal information"-- if you provide us with your email address or other personal information with which such "automatic or navigational" information then becomes programmatically associated.
Information Collected by Cookies.
We use cookies to collect information about how visitors use Liquidgeneration.com and what pages and features visitors find more or less interesting.Ownership of Submissions
Videos, photos, emails, letters and any other information, uploaded, emailed, File Transported, or otherwise communicated to LiquidGeneration Inc., its employees and staff, or any agents or representatives of LiquidGeneration Inc, including writers for the LiquidGeneration Blogs and Mailroom become the property of LiquidGeneration Inc., and they will have the right to use them free of charge, and in any manner and in any medium, forever and throughout the world. This means that submissions might appear in publications including, but not limited to, a book, newsletter or on a LiquidGeneration Inc. web site. If you do not want your submissions to become the property of LiquidGeneration Inc., please do not submit, upload, email or otherwise communicate them to us.Who else has access to the information you provide?
Except as provided below, we do not transfer information to third parties in a manner that identifies you. Thus for example, we would not sell information that includes your email address. We do transfer to third parties and/or release to the public certain aggregate information (for example about the visiting habits of our visitors generally or of groups of our visitors), but that information will not contain information that identifies you.There are three groups of exceptions to our policy of not transferring personal information to third parties:
Children and LiquidGeneration.com:
LiquidGeneration has no intention of collecting any personally identifiable information from individuals under thirteen years of age.Security:
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