Arrests speeding police officer.

The road to professional sports is one of the most effective sociopath assembly lines in the world. Separated from their peers by talent as kids, pandered to as teenagers, and idolized as adults, today's college and professional athletes know that forgiveness is only one contrite press conference away. We keep track of their antisocial behavior and marvel at their sociopathleticism in the Sociopathlete Round-Up.

Sociopathlete: Sal Alosi, Strength and Conditioning Coach, New York Jets,
Former Linebacker, Hofstra
We learned today that Alosi has been suspended indefinitely (his suspension was previously scheduled to be up at the end of this season) when the Jets "found out" that he had ordered players to form a wall along the sidelines in order to impede Dolphins special teamer Nolan Carroll if he ventured out of bounds. Alosi stuck his leg out, tripped Carroll, and is now awaiting his sportsmanship award from Jets coach Rex Ryan. The other shoe may not have dropped in this case, since the notion of a strength coach taking it upon himself to order inactive players to interfere with punt coverage in an organized manner seems a bit far-fetched. If it came from above, or even from the top, this could place the entire Jets franchise in the pantheon of sociopathletics.

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Recently during the SXSW music festival, Ghostbuster Bill Murray took command of the Shangra-La's bar and started serving people dranks. We can't help but notice that he looked pretty tipsy, which is nothing knew if you take into account the below videos.

But first, here's Bill pouring shots at the Austin bar Shangra-La.

And then here's him drunk in Rushmore.

Oh...then there's that Suntory Whiskey commercial in Lost In Translation. He got pretty wasted filming that, remember?

Finally, not too long ago Bill Murray was arrested in Sweden for driving a golf cart...while intoxicated. No video footage of this exists, though somebody did make a confusing Machinema video of the incident. We don't really understand it, but it's on the internet so it must be funny! Or something.

Look, we're not saying Bill Murray is an alcoholic or anything. We're just saying he really, really must like alcohol.

We have no idea what this lady is talking about here, but we just like watching her. We can put this video on repeat and just watch it FOR HOURS until the cops arrest us for being a loser.

Gary Coleman (though we still like to call him Arnold) was arrested this weekend for murdering a blind child then stuffing her body in a drainage pipe where she was then eaten by coyotes. J/K! He was just arrested on a warrant stemming from a prior domestic assault charge. Anyway, look at his adorable face. Don't you just want to squeeze it and compare it to cute stuff, like, I don't know, dogs or something!