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Man, these two are looking sweet! Not nerds at all.

 
Chuck McCarthy Author Image

A Monkey Could Write This Blog Post

By: Chuck McCarthy
January 26 2010, 8:03 AM


Some of you may know that besides writing blog posts about teen superstars and my eventual relationship with Dakota Fanning, I am also a screenwriter. I have written four feature screenplays, and of course, like 99% of all screenwriters, no one has even ever volunteered to read one of my scripts, much less produce it or air it a global television network (not even Spike).

Now, I wouldn't call any of my scripts works of total genius. They have mostly been exercises in futility with the hope of honing a skill that I can later sell to other poor schmucks that think that their story is worth seeing brought to life by Zach Efron and Suri Cruise (Silly Saturday rated PG for simulated farting noises). This said, I do think that all of my scripts are entertaining, and are better, more interesting than something say... A MONKEY COULD PUT TOGETHER! But I guess some "chaps," or more so, some "chimps,"  over at the BBC would disagree.

Apparently some chimpanzees have made a movie, and the BBC is going to air it despite a very weak plot line, worse cinematography than "Death Proof," and a total and blatant disregard for a hundred years of film making. Breaking the rules is something every aspiring filmmaker should try, but you have to understand the rules you are breaking to be groundbreaking.

Of course, just like James Cameron's Avatar, people are going to ignore all these flaws because of the fact that the chimps were using a new and special "chimp-proof camera" camera or "chimpcam." So what?! I've got a "chimp-proof camera." It's called a Flip HD.

Where can I go from here? I have hit rock bottom. I will never amount to anything. Maybe I should just start writing my outlines and treatments with my own poop.

Seriously, guys, chimps, bros, I'd love to work with you guys. I really respect your work and I have an outline for a ten movie series about a monkey named HAX. The whole thing is very high concept, so I can't say anything else without a deal in place. You love bananas. I love bananas. We could run this town. It's gonna be... bananas. Oh yeah, I definitely think we can get Gwen Stefani on board to do the soundtrack... yeah, and Ryan Gosling has already expressed interest.

"Take your stinking paws off my film industry, you damn dirty chimps!"  -Chuck McCarthy

 

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration today! 

 
LG Staff Author Image

Avatar Is Just Pocahontas But With Blue People

By: LG Staff
January 04 2010, 9:34 AM


So yes, James Cameron obviously stole the story for Avatar from Pocahontas. What did Pablo Picasso say? "Bad artists copy. Great artists steal."

(via funpower)

 
Slippy Jenkins Author Image

Who Has The Best CGI/Animated Chesticles?

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 12 2009, 12:18 PM

In this month's Playboy Magazine, supernerd James Cameron said he designed his female Avatar aliens with breasts, even though they're not placental mammals (don't worry, we have no idea what that means either!). Since the movie cost around $500 million and it's in 3D, we can only hope that those boobs are so amazing they pop out of the screen and punch us in the face so hard they give us a black eye. We hope! But what if they aren't? Whose computer generated/animated boobs will you fall back on?

We've always been partial to Angelina Jolie in Beowulf, which you probably didn't see because the movie sucked. But damn, look! They even made her eyes look like she wants nothing to do with us, just like in real life!

 

Do you have any favorite computer generated characters? Share in the comments. Watch our 10 Sexiest Cartoon Characters if you need a little help deciding.

 

Paparazzi Punchout

Paparazzi Punchout

Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz tried to kick this paparazzi guy’s ass and it was hilarious! Now it’s your turn to be the paparazzi guy and kick Justin, Cameron and even Princess Di’s ass!

 

AVATAR Rips Off Only The Best

AVATAR Rips Off Only The Best

Oh, Mr. Cameron. You didn't just rip off Delgo, did you? (Psst! That's awesome! We secretly love that movie!"

 

Cameron Diaz Is Bald

Cameron Diaz Is Bald

Is it possible to give her the Oscar for "Best Actress Who Made Oneself Ugly" now so we don't have listen to her all year about how "hard" this was.

 

Cameron Diaz Has Anger Issues

Cameron Diaz Has Anger Issues

Cameron Diaz took some time out of her busy day to throw some oranges at Ashton Kutcher… but who was she really thinking of…

 

News: James Cameron Totally Discovers Jesus

News: James Cameron Totally Discovers Jesus

Join famous director turned archeologist James Cameron as he makes an amazing discovery in Jesus’ tomb… Jesus himself!

 

Cameron Diaz in a Foreign Commercial

Cameron Diaz in a Foreign Commercial

Cameron Diaz did a foreign-market commercial. What a traitor. Slut.

 

Cameron & Drew Smoke Pot

Cameron & Drew Smoke Pot

Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore recently relaxed *a lot* on the beach, while passing a doobie between them. Shabba!

 

Cameron Diaz Had a Nose Job

Cameron Diaz Had a Nose Job

How dare a celebrity surgically enhance his/her face for the betterment of his/her image!

 

Cameron Diaz in See-Through Shirt

Cameron Diaz in See-Through Shirt

I bet you didn't notice there was a beach behind her!

 

Justin & Cameron at the Mall

Justin & Cameron at the Mall

Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz were inseparable at The Grove mall in Los Angeles.