Slippy Jenkins Author Image

Reason Not To Have Kids #267

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 10 2009, 9:24 AM

Seriously, if your kid is just going to narc you out to their teacher, what good are they anyway? Kids are for tying your shoe laces, grabbing you a beer and that's about it. You shouldn't have to worry about them telling everyone they know that you earn money making it rain for perverts. LiquidGeneration's been making games and animations about boobs and Britney Spears' drunk butt for years, and our nephews still think we sell insurance. Seriously! Every time I come home for Christmas they never ask me how work's going because they feel sorry for me. Anyway, there's just some things your child shouldn't know and your stripper job is one of them. Also: never bring your work home with you.

(via Don Chavez)

 

Olivia Munn's Buns

Olivia Munn's Buns

Her butt makes us want to cry happy tears just to know something like it exists in this horrible world.

 

Does It All Hang Low?

Does It All Hang Low?

Do you remember that song you used to sing when you were a little kid about your boobs and butt and balls and how they all hang low? Well, we just rewrote it.

 
 

Whoose Butt?

Whoose Butt?

Today is the day you look at butts and see who they belong to!

 

Kelly Brook's Boobs Are On Vacation

Kelly Brook's Boobs Are On Vacation

Here is Kelly, vacationing in LA with her boobs and butt. That's all we need to say because we don't even think you're looking at these words at this point.

 

Worst Pants Idea Ever

Worst Pants Idea Ever

"Excuse me, is that your butt winking at my butt?"

 

Kristin Cavallari's Flat Butt Doesn't Bother You

Kristin Cavallari's Flat Butt Doesn't Bother You

The fact that you can write a check on her butt doesn't mean you don't fantasize about her reject you.

 
 

New Technology To Wipe Your Butt

New Technology To Wipe Your Butt

We feel silly for using our own hands to wipe our ass all these years. If we knew the Comfort Wipe existed, our life would be so much more awesome and our hands would be a lot less smelly. And brown.

 

Watermelon Woman

Watermelon Woman

She's Brazilian, she's tabloid famous and what you really want to know, her butt measures 46 inches all the way around. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it if that's at all possible given the size constraints.

 

Best Butt of 2009

Best Butt of 2009

According to every penis in the world, this lady won the best butt of 2009.

 

Kate Hudson Serves Up Some Butt

Kate Hudson Serves Up Some Butt

Wonder whose butt would win in a game of tennis: Kate Hudson's or Anna Kournikova's?

 

Boobs, Butt or Baby?

Boobs, Butt or Baby?

We show you a portion of a picture and, that's right, you have to tell if it's a beautiful pair of boobs, a butt or a baby!

 

Is Your Butt Better Than Whitney Port's?

Is Your Butt Better Than Whitney Port's?

If it's not, than you're not ready to hit the beach, either!

 

Quiz: Which Porn Star Are You?

Quiz: Which Porn Star Are You?

Sure, being a porn star can be a pain in the butt (tee hee hee), but sometimes they get famous and make lots of cash. So, which famous porn performer are you the most like?

 

Heidi Montag's Honeymoon Butt

Heidi Montag's Honeymoon Butt

We really don't care how annoying Heidi Montag's brain is, her butt is totally not annoying.

 

Out Of Control Butt

Out Of Control Butt

I dare you to say one bad thing about this girl.

 

Kim Kardashian Is Wonder Woman

Kim Kardashian Is Wonder Woman

Kim Kardashin is Wonder Woman for Halloween, and her butt dressed up as Frankenstein.

 

Tara Reid's Butt Makes A Comeback

Tara Reid's Butt Makes A Comeback

Tara Reid's butt is making a comeback that nobody wanted.

 

OTHER COOL STUFF