Britney attacked a paparazzi-mobile and hit a photographer in the back – with an umbrella!

We looked for strechmarks on Britney Spears' butt and we couldn't find any. Her body really snapped back!

Today Britney was seen exiting a law office near the Château Marmont, after having met with a civil law lawyer.

Amy Pohler as Britney Spears on SNL. I'm way ups into shorty tigers, y'all!

Britney left rehab this morning! One of her dancers apparently picked her up, less than 24 hours after she checked in.

Britney checked into Promises rehabilitation clinic, and the paparazzi already found her! She looks like Telly Savalas!

Britney checked into Promises rehabilitation clinic, and the paparazzi already found her!

Somehow I'm not hungry for desert any more.

Britney Spears entered a Tarzana, CA beauty parlor after closing and shaved her own head after the stylist refused to do it for her.

Britney shaved her head Friday night! Is she going off the deep end?

Britney's youngest, Jayden James Spears, recently made his debut in OK! Magazine

Britney switched outfits with a stripper one night at the club! She liked the dancer's bikini so much, she wanted to wear it for herself!

Britney gets her thong adjusted by one of her "people." Is that a salaried position?

Brit-Brit was seen out partying again in New York, this time squeezing into a "sexy" red dress.

Britney left the tag on her dress… and it's the fakest "Extra Small" I've ever seen!

Scientists have broken down the facts: Britney is a fug-monster.

Recent trip to a West Hollywood burger joint: Britney's classy!

Recent trip to a West Hollywood burger joint part deux: wait, no, Britney's not classy.

So her people are totally denying that this is a Britney track (obviously the video part is just a montage). Still, I'd love to hear such a bold pooh-on-the-head of mister K-Fed.

Land ho! It be a beached whale!