This is the only way a "dude" would be willing to "do" Britney now.

Learn all the ins and outs of Nintendo's WiiFit with chunktastic pop star Britney Spears!

She's probably not pregnant, she probably enjoys Cheetos too much, her comeback is very far from complete, Miley has a depressing future.

Philip Norris discusses the fact the Britney Spears might be pregnant and who the father could be.

Almost forgot about you, how are you doing? Wearing sweatpants, smoking cigarettes, and showing a little bump, good to see you're staying the course.

...pounds at Bally's Total Fitness!

Britney's secret to weight loss is apparently time travel which raises the very real possibility of an alternate 2003 being created where she never meets K-Fed.

What happens when two of your coworkers discuss Britney Spears by the water cooler!?!

She's a lot like her sister, she has amazing boobs at a young age and seems destined for a miserable failure of a life.

K-Fed is a trained method actor who draws on his experiences of putting Britney down.

Britney presents a strong case for both sides, looking at her it is hard to argue there is an "intelligent design" while it is also questionable we are moving forward as a species.

The whale that is Aretha Franklin and the pshyco that is Cyndi Lauper were photographed together at the Grammys. What will Britney look like at their age?

Since it has literally become unthinkable that people will ever feel sympathy and "Leave Britney Alone", think of the poor dog that has to live through this.

Y'all was yelling at her for always having her mammary glands poking through shirts so she put on a bra. What more do you want?

Check out a clip from Alfred Hitchcock's new movie, Psycho Britney!

Jamie Lynn has taken it upon herself to go on the web and research what it will be like to be pregnant and have a baby. It's gross!

After Britney Spears ditched out on yet another custody hearing, she went to church! Has Britney finally found The Jesus!

Or at least that is what the Associated Press is hoping, guys already wrote up her obituary.

If you were to look into a Britney Spears crystal ball it most likely would show this. Everyone knows Oompa Loompas are more supportive than Lynne Spears.

This little toy will have to substitute for Mommy Spears for a while, at least it will remind the kids why it is a good thing she's gone.