I wonder if there's ever been an "accident"?

Apparently, if you drink green tea, you develop strange boob enlarging abilities.

It's been awhile since Jennifer Aniston's been on our mind, quite possibly because she' really boring and we never watched Friends. We also forgot how awesomely hot she was -- and still is apparently. Check out these photos from the set of her her new movie. She basically has the body of a 19-year-old, even though she's probably like 55-years-old. Our ass started to sag at 15, so well done Ms. Aniston. 

 

To help promote her blah blah blah and whatever whatever whatever Jessica Simpson wore no makeup and NO BRA on the May cover of Marie Claire, which is a magazine for boring chicks. We kind of really, really, reallly like this.

You don't have to go under the knife like Heidi Montag if you want to enlarge your breasts and look like an Boob Alien. Now you just have to know Photoshop! Just watch this video to learn all you need to know to turn your hand-sized boobs into ones that need to be carried by a wheelbarrow.

At last a machine capable of force feeding you with a single push of a button.

Even though she's 99% hair, we find ourselves suddenly turned on by Kate Gosselin. Like freakishly so. She appeared on the Jimmy Kimmel Show last night, and damn if we didn't have to drop the remote and run to the bathroom for some "me time, and I don't mean pee time" right there. For serious!

And look at those cans. Does she have breast implants? Sorry if we sound overly excited here, friends. When 20 babies fall out of a women's vagina, we tend to never think about her again. But Kate, you've redeemed yourself. MILF Status 3000.

Just kidding! She's not fat at all! In fact, she's probably anorexic! Her name is Brooklyn Decker, and she's married to that tennis player Andy Roddick - that guy who looks like Stifler, who is that guy in American Pie who wants to bang your mom.

Some quick facts about Brooklyn, who we're thinking about stalking (because why not!).

-She's 22-years-old

-She's giving you major bone right now

-She's on Twitter - which means it's easy to find reasons why she might be really annoying. Like this reason:

But then we stop looking at her Twitter feed and stumble upon photos like this and realize that we can put up with annoying people, so long as they look like the hottest freaking girl in the world.

But then we remember we're not Andy Roddick, and we don't have six-pack abs and our name isn't something awesome like The Situation. We slowly realize we're totally never going to bang Brookly Decker. Then we cry. Then we go to Subway and order some fatass sandwich, not the healthy ones that Jared orders. Then we go home, cry some more while looking at ourself in the mirror and then turn on the computer to try and find naked pictures of Brooklyn Decker on the internet.

Eventually we end up like this:

Go ahead. Get your Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Issue fix right here.

His daughters are kinda hot. The one on the right is Ayla and the blonde is her sister Arianna. The awkward one in the middle is Scott Brown himself!  I guess Ayla is some kind of singer with a pretty amazing website. And she seems to have social media down so that's cool. Ayla is 21 and Arianna is 19, so we have no qualms about playing a little game of WYR here. We're Team Arianna. You?

(via AnimalNY)

BREAKING. Jessica Simpson's breasts were seen walking down the street! THIS IS A DEVELOPING STORY. REFRESH LIQUIDGENERATION FOR FURTHER UPDATES ON THIS IMPORTANT MATTER.

In other news, WTF?

(via The Superficial)

Digging deeper and deeper into M Magazine, it didn't take me long to discover that I wasn't as out of touch as I had initially thought. On page 13, not only did I find out that Taylor and Taylor are both a little unsure about dating someone named Taylor, but I also found out that M Magazine readers are interested in being in the last Twilight movie, something I had blogged about 4-5 months ago.
M Magazine doesn't just pose the question though, they answer it.

"Can you be in the last Twilight movie?"

M Magazine's answer? "Yes."

I immediately started taking their advice. I went to ExploreTalent.com. Though there were no actual casting call listings for Twilight: Breaking Dawn, and it seems like a sight completely based on exploiting dreams to identify a certain marketing demographic, I signed up. I also started reading Breaking Dawn for the 9th time, as suggested, and I started really trying to be myself, as suggested.

One of their pieces of advice did seem to be a little bit of a no-brainer: "Try not to act super-duper bubbly or overly eager."

Duh! The only super-duper bubbly vampire in the Twilight series is Alice. Do I look like Alice?

According to the Germans - and we know they're always right - if you stare at boobs you'll live longer. From the MedGuru:

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years.

She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out."

This is probably the greatest news I've ever heard in my live. I hate going to the gym, and I'm assuming most of you do as well. I'm also going to go broke, because I imagine the strip club I'm going to after work will be a lot more expensive than my local gym. Unless this is all covered by Obama's new Healthcare plan.

(via theMedGuru)

Sure it's sort of a surprise that Meredith Baxter - the mom from Family Ties - is a lesbian. But that's hardly shocking in this day and age. WHAT IS SHOCKING, is that you can find NAKED BOOB videos on YouTube if they pass certain medical criteria and they teach you perverted things.  One of these videos features Meredith Baxter totally busting out during a breast exam. Yeah, not really that hot. But hey, you get to see her cans, though not right here because we like to keep it classy. If you know how to use the YouTube search engine, just go ahead and look for it.

In this month's Playboy Magazine, supernerd James Cameron said he designed his female Avatar aliens with breasts, even though they're not placental mammals (don't worry, we have no idea what that means either!). Since the movie cost around $500 million and it's in 3D, we can only hope that those boobs are so amazing they pop out of the screen and punch us in the face so hard they give us a black eye. We hope! But what if they aren't? Whose computer generated/animated boobs will you fall back on?

We've always been partial to Angelina Jolie in Beowulf, which you probably didn't see because the movie sucked. But damn, look! They even made her eyes look like she wants nothing to do with us, just like in real life!

Do you have any favorite computer generated characters? Share in the comments. Watch our 10 Sexiest Cartoon Characters if you need a little help deciding.