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Cat Mistake
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Sexy Flexible Girl
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Flawed Oil Change
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Super Smart Chimp
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Wheelchair Drifting
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Excavator Skills
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Confused Dog
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When Someone Says Pull Over
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Another First
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Bar Fight
Views: 1795
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Yes it’s Tuesday, but that doesn’t mean the week is gone; we still have four more days to fail at everything we’ve set out to accomplish on Monday. Like telling you why this week is going to be awesome. Keep on reading, we have proof!
1. There are 10 more days until Christmas. This means you have just enough time to shop for decent presents without everything being sold out (and don’t forget about free shipping). You still have time to make those cool photo books in iPhoto instead of buying another framed picture or those horrible electronic picture frames which never look good and never work. You have just enough time to send out Christmas cards and perhaps even hand write them instead of doing a Google search of “Fat Santa Sitting At The Computer” and sending it out to everybody like you’re Corky from Our House. There’s still time to break up with your girlfriend and not look like a dick (cut off date is, like, today tho). You can also take these 10 days to invite as many ladies over to your place as you can to watch Love Actually and try to get laid. Other Christmas movies might work, but this one is the best. And quickly, you have 10 days to eat, sleep, drink, smoke, gamble and commit just about any act of excess without it looking too bad. It’s Christmas after all.
2. Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are divorced. Now it’s in poor taste to celebrate any one's heartbreak, but please. This is not only a victory for the Free The World’s Boobs From Douche Movement, but victory for those us delusional enough to think they might someday have a chance with Scarlett.
3. THIS IS THE WEEK WE SOLVED AIDS - Kinda! An HIV-man who underwent stem-cell treatment transplant has been cured as a result of the procedure. This seems like good news for science and bad news for zombies because we’re gonna cure that ailment next!
4. It’s this easy to rip off a casino these days. Remember in Oceans 11 when Brad Pitt had to hire a little Asian man and 10 other movie stars to break into a Casino and rob the crap out of it? Well it turns out that was all just a waste of fake, Hollywood money! All you need to do is walk into a casino with a motorcycle helmet on your head and in two minutes you’re a millionaire!
5. You have 15 days to find or hire a date for New Years Eve. This is a long time to find a date, even for losers, which is why we mentioned you also hire a date because that is always more fun.
Have a great rest of the week!
We know it's fashionable to make fun of Taylor Lautner, the kid with the six-pack abs from Twilight. But we're not a-holes. We recognize Taylor's genius and that's why we're excited for a new comic book about the Half-Wolf Hero that will be in our sweaty hands come August. Just look at this cover:
The day that this is released is going to be the best day in the world. And this post is totally written without irony.
Let me paint a picture of a man-boy, a legend in the making. This man-boy lives in the woods of the great northwest - Jack London territory - Twilight territory - Kurt Cobain land... you know, like around Seattle.
He lives like a James Bond-Goldilocks, sneaking into people's houses, stealing planes (he learned to fly from video games), stealing speedboats, using night vision goggles to hunt and live off the land, and supplementing his diet with pizza that he has delivered to the woods. Not too hot -not too cold - extra cheese and just right.
The painting of this legend gets bolder, more intricate with every detail, with every stroke of the brush, and I'm not done stroking.
Like Yogi Bear he doesn't wear shoes while snagging "pic-a-nic" baskets, but he isn't stopping at sandwiches, and Park Ranger Smith isn't the only one he is outsmarting. The police and FBI are hot on his trail for over 50 alleged burglaries. Did I mention that he likes to take "cheeky" pictures of himself with victims' digital cameras (in my book this means pictures of his penis wearing sunglasses)?
Who is this man-boy, this 18yr old legend in the making?
Have you heard of Colton Harris-Moore? You just did. Oh, and Jason Bourne... GFY!
Watch the video below, and read these articles to find out more.
Now that you are on Team CHM (Facebook Fanpage alert!) and love him more than Jacob Black, would you pre-order a copy of his video game?
What would you call his video game?
What would you call his movie?
Do you think that Mercedes should be paying him for his endorsement?
Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!
In defence of the dude murdering her, she is a member of Team Jacob. TEAM EDWARD FOREVER.
Talkdown: Harry Potter
This week Lou grills Harry Potter on the final book, and finds out whether he dies or not!
LIQUIDGENERATION.COM INTERNET PRIVACY STATEMENT
This statement describes the privacy policy of LiquidGeneration, Inc. ("LiquidGeneration") for its website, Liquidgeneration.com. It applies only to Liquidgeneration.com, so if you visit other sites linked to Liquidgeneration.com, you should review the privacy policies of those sites. Also, this privacy policy does not apply to Liquidgenerations’s practices for gathering information offline or at other sites that it may own or operate. Also, LiquidGeneration reserves the right to update this policy at any time without notice, so we suggest that you occasionally review it.Information collected by Liquidgeneration.com:
Personal information.
You do not have to provide personal information to access or browse Liquidgeneration.com. However, we may ask you to provide personal information in connection with various opportunities and activities available at Liquidgeneration.com. By "personal information," we mean information that is identifiable to you. Personal information requested might include, for example, your email address, or, where identifiable to you, other information such as your age, zip code, gender and/or ethnicity.Automatic or Navigational Information. When you visit Liquidgeneration.com, we capture certain information automatically (even if you do not provide us with personal information), including your Internet protocol (IP) address, browser type, time and date of access and pages accessed. This "automatic" information, however, may become identifiable to you – and therefore "personal information"-- if you provide us with your email address or other personal information with which such "automatic or navigational" information then becomes programmatically associated.
Information Collected by Cookies.
We use cookies to collect information about how visitors use Liquidgeneration.com and what pages and features visitors find more or less interesting.Ownership of Submissions
Videos, photos, emails, letters and any other information, uploaded, emailed, File Transported, or otherwise communicated to LiquidGeneration Inc., its employees and staff, or any agents or representatives of LiquidGeneration Inc, including writers for the LiquidGeneration Blogs and Mailroom become the property of LiquidGeneration Inc., and they will have the right to use them free of charge, and in any manner and in any medium, forever and throughout the world. This means that submissions might appear in publications including, but not limited to, a book, newsletter or on a LiquidGeneration Inc. web site. If you do not want your submissions to become the property of LiquidGeneration Inc., please do not submit, upload, email or otherwise communicate them to us.Who else has access to the information you provide?
Except as provided below, we do not transfer information to third parties in a manner that identifies you. Thus for example, we would not sell information that includes your email address. We do transfer to third parties and/or release to the public certain aggregate information (for example about the visiting habits of our visitors generally or of groups of our visitors), but that information will not contain information that identifies you.There are three groups of exceptions to our policy of not transferring personal information to third parties:
Children and LiquidGeneration.com:
LiquidGeneration has no intention of collecting any personally identifiable information from individuals under thirteen years of age.Security:
Third Party Advertising:
The ads appearing on this Web site are delivered to you by DoubleClick, our Web advertising partner. Information about your visits to this site, such as number of times you have viewed an ad (but not your name, address, or other personal information), is used to serve ads to you. For more information about DoubleClick, cookies, and how to "opt-out", please click here.Third Party Cookies:
In the course of serving advertisements to this site, our third-party advertiser may place or recognize a unique cookie on your browser.Choice/Opt-Out
Liquidgeneration.com provides you the following options for modifying or removing information our databases:
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you have any questions regarding this Privacy Statement, the practices of LiquidGeneration, or your dealing with our web site, please contact us.
Liquid Generation has been corrupting the internet since 2000. We make funny, irreverent entertainment for web junkies and procrastinators of all types. From cartoons to videos, from games to online pranks, we do it all and we do it awesome.
Whenever you’re alone. Whenever you want to avoid work. Whenever you have no one to hug.
Liquid Generation is here to serve you.
We Love You,
Liquid Generation
P.S. You can write to us at talkback@liquidgeneration.com
We at Liquid Generation love it when friends, family, and personal enemies write to us with suggestions on how to make this website better. You should also feel free to email us if you find anything on the website that’s confusing, missing, spelled incorrectly, or just doesn’t work. We will promptly bring the wrongdoer out to the woods behind our office and shoot them to death.
However, if you just think that one of our animations, games or videos sucks, just keep those niceties to the comment section in each feature, loser.
You can email us at Talkback@liquidgeneration.com
Tyrese – Imperial Warlord
Tyrese Abdul Salaam Mohammad is Liquid Generation’s Imperial Warlord. Not much is known about His Excellency, except that he’s evaded numerous attempts on his life by the rival warlords that once roamed the dangerous streets in his hometown of Highland Park, IL. Now in California, Tyrese enjoys bonsai gardening and yo-yo dieting.
Email: tyrese@liquidgeneration.comSlippy Jenkins – Head Writer
Slippy Jenkins is the Head Writer at Liquid Generation. His responsibilities include the writing of things that are funny, as well as making sure that everything that goes up on Liquid Generation doesn’t suck. He and the LG creative team have been responsible for hundreds of popular cartoons, games and online tchotckies that have been seen by millions of people around the world and featured in the Chicago Sun-Times, Entertainment Weekly, Maxim Magazine, US Weekly, Defamer, Best Week Ever, G4TV, CNN, and one of his mother’s favorite “trash mags” Star Magazine, among others. He would like you to know that the previous sentence sounds really good when justifying his trade of penis & fart jokes to friends, family and potential girlfriends. Slippy Jenkins would also like you to know that his LG Sabotage screams are the direct result of pure talent and not of any vocal steroids, alcohol, street drugs, or other performance enhancers.
Slippy Jenkins currently lives in Los Angeles with his Roomba.
Email: slippyjenkins@liquidgeneration.comMonkey - Creative Director
Monkey began his illustrious career on the Internet by freelancing as a web designer. He was well known for creating some of the gaudiest self-serving Flash sites on all of the internets. He quickly joined the ranks of LG when they were headed in the direction of a Teen Portal. Soon after, Monkey and the other early members of LG realized that a Teen Portal was not the direction they should be going in, they should be making funny animations and games. Monkey’s illustration talents soon came into play and he began illustrating and animating for LG. Monkey soon realized that his years as a failed musician could also come in handy. He applied his talents to making LG’s famous PopToons -- the internet’s most sought after animated music videos starring celebrities. But, Monkey had another talent that his mother didn’t even tell him about: voiceover acting. Ever since he found out the he was one of the most talented voice actors to hit the “web stage,” he began doing most of the voices on the site, and continues to do so to this day. Monkey loves long walks on the beach, and bragging about his title of Liquid Generation’s own Creative Director.
Email: themonkey@liquidgeneration.comHelga Mohammed el-Salami – Chief Technology Officer
Helga Mohammed el-Salami, Secretary of Email Defense, Code Bitch, pre-operative transsexual.
Mr./Ms. el-Salami was an early convert to the Internet Revolution when, somewhere over a decade ago, he/she stole the source code from an early web page and boldly changed the header text. Since then, he/she has stolen code from tens of thousands of sources and appropriated it for Liquid Generation’s nefarious purposes. Some may have even been yours.
Several years ago, Mr./Ms. el-Salami had been charged with maintaining visitor satisfaction by serving as Liquid Generation’s email liaison. A job that, if judging by the volume of anger flowing through the mailroom, he/she has not been doing all that well
In his/her spare time, which we desperately try to minimize, Mr./Ms. el-Salami enjoys reading books and memorizing the Koran although he/she has had a hard time reconciling the teachings of the prophet with his/her desire to be the first trans-gendered lesbian. But regardless of his/her personal hurdles, Helga Mohammed el-Salami remains a soul seduced by the Internet’s romance. And its pornography.
Miranda Kerr Can't Read Good
That's not where you put the books silly girl, you're blocking our view. Also what'd Will Turner ever do to deserve this?
Not Forgetting Kristen Bell
Here's hoping Kristen Bell never finds out where Hyde is or how wonderful cocaine makes you feel and spends her life innocent and signing autographs at comic book conventions.
Iron Man Trailer
In theaters 5-8-08. Robert Downey Jr. stars as Tony Stark/Iron Man in the first adaptation of the comic book superhero.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Asskaban
J.K. Richpants recently announced that Dumbledore, from the popular Harry Potter books, was gay. Gays everywhere rejoiced, until they realized… being dead, Dumbledore would have no nude shower scene.
Charlie Wilson's War Trailer
In theaters 12-25-07. Based on George Crile's book about the CIA's largest and most successful covert CIA operation, the arming of the Mujahedeen in Afghanistan. The covert ops were engineered by Charlie Wilson a charismatic, wheeler-dealer, liberal Texas congressman who teamed with a rogue CIA operative. The two manipulated Congress, the CIA and a host of foreign governments in order to assist the Afghan rebels in their fight against the Soviets in the 1980s. Many of the men armed by the CIA went on to become the Taliban's enforcers and Osama bin Laden's protectors.
National Treasure: Book of Secrets Trailer
In theaters 12-21-07. Treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates (Cage) looks to discover the truth behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, by uncovering the mystery within the 18 pages missing from assassin John Wilkes Booth's diary.
Run-DMC on Reading Rainbow
Have you been recently offended by the "Read a Book" cartoon? Well this video with Rev. Run and DMC will take you on a safer hip-hop reading adventure.
Yellow Pages Prank
What happens when you leave for the weekend and your friends happen to have 60 phone books laying around? Why THIS VIDEO, of course!
Paris Gets Support From God
Paris doesn't need a bra for support, when she's got God and the good book on her side!
Lindsay Reads, Is Cold
Classy-lookin' Lins was seen holding some book that's supposed to help her get a boyfriend. But we think that dress will do just fine!!
Live at LG: Wax On Radio - Today I Became A Realist
Wax On Radio are a collective from Logan Square, an area on the West side of Chicago that is quickly becoming a hotbed for new and emerging indie acts. They were kind enough to swing by our studio while they were on tour and we always welcome bands from the Midwest through our doors. Plus anyone that plays the guitar upside down is pretty awesome in our book!