The road to professional sports is one of the most effective sociopath assembly lines in the world. Separated from their peers by talent as kids, pandered to as teenagers, and idolized as adults, today's college and professional athletes know that forgiveness is only one contrite press conference away. We keep track of their antisocial behavior and marvel at their sociopathleticism in the Sociopathlete Round-Up.

Sociopathlete: Lawrence Taylor, former Linebacker, New York Giants
The real LT appeared in court the other day to claim that police violated his rights when they entered a hotel room he was sleeping in to seize evidence that he had paid a sixteen-year-old runaway $300 for sex. Court papers in a related but separate case say he admitted to sex acts with the girl. What they don't say is that LT didn't even practice soliciting prostitutes during the week, he just showed up on soliciting-prostitutes-day and made it happen. But at least he's taking it seriously.

Sociopathlete: Albert Haynesworth, Defensive Lineman, Washington Redskins
Brett Favre made the list last time for doing his job. Haynesworth makes it for refusing to do his. Coach Mike Shanahan suspended him for the final four games of the season without pay. Haynesworth didn't want to play nose tackle in the team's 3-4 defense. But he also didn't want to find a new team and give up his 21 million dollar contract bonus. So he just stayed on, but also didn't do his job - the best of both worlds. He also needed 10 days to pass a conditioning test at the start of training camp, showing that you don't need athleticism to have sociopathleticism.

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In honor of Hanukkah, this week we celebrate boobs that are shaped like dreidels.

Seriously, I think you have to try and park this badly.

Why, because it's boobs. Pretty much, nothing but boobs.

This is why I love the internet. So there's a place for random videos like this to exist.

I dig her response. She's laughing more than the guy.

I wonder what kind of job security stuntmen have? I imagine they last about as long as supermodels and gymnasts.

Apparently, if you drink green tea, you develop strange boob enlarging abilities.

Peanuts and Spider-Man and Watchmen all suck balls compared to Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates. It's going to win the Nobel Prize for Making You Crap Your Pants.

Via SadandUseless.com. See the whole set here.)

This weekend Steve Jobs and Gawker blogger Ryan Tate got into a little email fight where one basically accused the other of being an ass and the other responded by basically calling the other guy an ass, all because of nerd reasons that we won't get into right now. The only good little nugget from this email exchange is that Steve Jobs - the guy who makes the machine that you use to wank off on internet porn every night while pretending to watch Jimmy Fallon - is trying to protect your freedoms. Specifically, Freedom from Porn.

(image via topherchris)

Sure! You think having big boobs is the life, but no. You would be very, very wrong. Take this lady, for example. She can't move from her bed, but that's not all! She's speaking in foreign tongues -- and the same with everyone else in this video! They've been cursed by the devil!

Have big boobs? Want to be a total spoil sport and hide them from the world? Then the Cami Secret is for you!