Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon this sweaty, balding dude and his frumpy, snaggle-toothed wife. They are going to make a porno together. From the UK Sun:

Lisa Brand and Tommy Barnes have earned £1,300 from three X-rated movies and plan to make four more to raise cash for a beach ceremony in Cancun, Mexico, next June.

The pair, who have four children, have played a photographer and lingerie model who strip for a romp, and also appeared in a threesome.

Lisa, 34, even dripped hot wax on Tommy's chest at a motorway service station hotel to recreate a scene from Madonna's 1993 movie Body of Evidence.

She also spanked him with a paddle. She said: "I was laughing my head off.

"I have told my mum and most of my friends. They understand. It's always been our dream to have a fairytale wedding."

         Tommy, 36, added at Macclesfield, Cheshire: "It's our five minutes of fame - something to look back on whe we're older. It has brought us closer together."

Yeah, Tommy. Five minutes of fame and LETTING THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW that your wife is in desperate need of some teeth whitening and Invisalign. REAL SMART.

Wow. We thought we were obsessed with Britney Spears. Not compared to this dude, who gets the award for BIGGEST BRITNEY FAN WHO'S PROBABLY IN JAIL NOW FOR TALKING TO YOU ABOUT BRITNEY SPEARS SO MUCH. The above photo shows him wearing a bunch of Britney pins and he even made her a cake for her birthday! Note that he made this cake for a cardboard cutout! Respectible! (Not really!). The rest of this article from Buzzfeed goes on to show a bunch of essays he wrote about the pop princess,  a family Christmas card featuring Brit, and more stuff that makes you wonder whether or not this kid grew up to kill his parents.

(via Buzzfeed)

This bust of King Screech the 1st was discovered last week in a dumpster behind a mini-mall in Ohio.

Sure it's sort of a surprise that Meredith Baxter - the mom from Family Ties - is a lesbian. But that's hardly shocking in this day and age. WHAT IS SHOCKING, is that you can find NAKED BOOB videos on YouTube if they pass certain medical criteria and they teach you perverted things.  One of these videos features Meredith Baxter totally busting out during a breast exam. Yeah, not really that hot. But hey, you get to see her cans, though not right here because we like to keep it classy. If you know how to use the YouTube search engine, just go ahead and look for it.

You guys have no idea how much money we paid for this photo of Tiger Woods. We've been working with TMZ, X17Online, Jason Bourne and none of them were able to get this EXCLUSIVE picture of Tiger Woods post-ass-beating. All of those websites suck.  How did we get this picture? Don't ask because it involves the shady transfer of monies between shady people and other things we don't want to talk about (okay, we promised the photographer a signed picture of Edward Cullen!). Here it is: the totally not fake first photo of Tiger Woods post-ass-beating.

This is just idle speculation from a picture we found on the internet (the site currently doesn't not work that well, so we won't link to it), but since Tiger came out and admitted that he had an affair, now we're just going to assume he's banged every chick he's come into contact with. It's only fair right!?! Of course it is. We state from here on out: We will just assume that Tiger's boned every girl that he's taken a photo with in his entire career!

Here's Tiger with some super skinny cheerleader. She also believes in the devil. OMG, YOU GUYS! TIGER BANGS DEVIL WORSHIPERS!

Yeah, in addition to being a BIG FAT CHEATER he also loves to fart while playing golf. DO YOU REMEMBER THIS? WHEN TIGER WOODS WAS JUST A NICE GUY WHO LOVED TO PASS GAS AND HE WASN'T SUCH A DIRTY WHORE!?!

Ah, the good ol' days.

Ah. It happens to the best of us, Jared. Diet Pro Tip: Don't put Twinkies in your 6-inch turkey sub.

See more pics of this former skinny fat dude here.

Hmm. We don't know about this. At first we were like, "Oh, Storm Trooper mid-riffs are hot!" And then we waited a second, looked at the girls one more time and were like, "These chicks look like they smoke three packs of cigarettes a day! Not hot!" What do you think?

When we try to explain to our friends what good Twitter can do for society, we will not show them this image.

BTW, you can follow the LiquidGeneration Twitter here for irregular updates!

So last week we posted a blog about the world's tallest model and whether or not you'd totally sleep with her. We do realize that this post probably neglected the ladies who come to our website (but not the lesbians!) so we just wanted to be fair and post some dudes for ya'll. Here's Andre the Giant and some wrestling midget. Now who'd you rather?

Would we sleep with Andre the Giant? Our answer is after the jump.

(Click here if you want to go after the jump, fool!)

Holy crap, you guys. You want to show the girl (or guy!) you want to bang that you're interested in them? Write them a love letter - using Google Docs! It works, just watch this video! Because seriously, when we think of love letters, we're sooooo 2K9 that paper and pencil - or even regular ol' email -- doesn't even cross our minds. No, we're from the future! We write with tools from the future! We collaborate online! Just like this dude here, who from what we can tell is a total virgin! I mean, who wears turquoise shirts! Virgins, that's who!

We wonder if you bring a cooler gift to the strip club - say, a werewolf lighter -- do get better (read = more naked) time in the champagne room? Only one way to find out!

Before we saw this we thought the wolves in New Moon were the gayest wolfs ever, but no. The gayest werewolf can be found on this lighter, which can be yours for the price of $8. Pull out those credit cards, people!

THIS IS A LIE! I LIE I TELL YOU! SOMEBODY PHOTOSHOPPED THIS THING! I HATE YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU!!!!!!

I BET THE PEOPLE WHO MADE THIS JUST HATE TRANNYS AND THOSE WHO LOOK LIKE THEM! DAMN YOU, INTERNET!

WHATEVER,

Lady Gaga

3===)

(via cakeheadlovesevil)

Nerd Alert! Dork Alert! Virgin Alert! Whatever the hell you want to call it, we've got a news bulletin: Rickrolling is still popular, as proven by this video in which one nerd punks another nerd by replacing his Call of Duty: Modern Warfare disc with a disc full of Rick Astley. Oh gosh, how adorable.

What's with courgars these days? They're either screaming out of your TV box or they're looking like complete idiots on the dance floor. And yes, but "idiots" we mean Katie Couric, and by "Katie Couric" we mean "why the hell are we partly turned on by these photos?" With the way our tongue is on the floor right now, you'd think every 70-year-old woman who drops her cootchie on the dance floor like this turns us on, but no. Just Katie Couric. We only have eyes for Katie Couric and those gams. THOSE GAMS. 

We're gonna go shoot ourselves in the head right now, or you can do that for us. Whatevs.

She's coming for you. Run.

And here's the cootchie drop. Oh lawd.

Yeah, that's the face. It totally doesn't scream "I'M WASTED 4 DAYZZZZ" or anything. No, not at all.

Click here to see the rest of the photos.

After hearing about a new movie called Twilight: New Moon and that it's kind of a big deal, LiquidGeneration contacted the nearest middle school to see if anyone was interested in writing a review of the movie for us. This is the review we received.

OHHH MY GAWWWWD YOU GUYS YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS BUT I SAW EDWARD CULLEN WITH HIS SHIRT OFF I CAN TOTALLY DIE NOW. I PRAY THAT HE COMES TO MY SCHOOL AND SWEEPS ME OFF MY FEET AND ME AND HIM CAN RUN AWAY AFTER HE MURDERS BELLA BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME AND THEN WE KISS DURING STUDY HALL THEN WE HAVE SO MANY BABIES OMG THIS MOVIE WAS SO GOOOOOD.

SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD. I CAN'T EVEN KEEP MY EYES OPEN RIGHT NOW ME AND MY FRO9ENDS WENT TO THE MIDNIGHT SCREENING AND WE ATE POPCORN BUT NOT MY FAT FRIEND ANGELA SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TO GO ON A DIET BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LOOK GOOD FOR JACOB!!!@!!!! LIKE REALLY, ANGELA, JACOB DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST YOU WERE A FANNY PACK TO SCHOOL AND YOUR FAT HE'S TOTALLY NOT GOING TO BE INTO YOU. MAYBE ONE OF THE GUYS FROM HARRY POTTER LIKE THAT FIRE CROTCH KID, BUT NOT JACOB. JACOB IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ANGELA AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT BUT I'M SORRY YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SHOT BUT IT WAS SO NICE SEEING THE MOVIE WITH A BFF JUST LIKE YOU.

SPEAKING OF!!! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE JACOB IS GOING OUT WITH THAT GAWKY SQUINTY FISH FACE TAYLOR SWIFT. WHAT KIND OF LOSER DOES SHE THINK SHE IS ANYWAY. EVERYBODY KNOWS JACOB IS JUST USING HER FOR SEX EWEWWWWW. SHE'S SUCH A DIRTY SKANK IF SHE WAS IN MY CLASS I BET SH'E GIVE  EVERYBODY AIDS WITH HER EYES. I H8 U TAYLOR DON'T COME NEAR ME!!!!!!

!!@!!@W!@!!@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY THING I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE IN THIS MOVIE IS BELLA. I'M SORRY SHE'S JUST SOOOOO STUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND SHE BITES HER LIP WHAT'S ON THERE ANYWAY? DO HER LIPS TASTE LIKE LICORICE OR SOMETHING OR IS SHE TRYING TO EAT A ZIT OFF THEM I BET IT'S THE ZIT. SHE'S TOTALLY NOT A GOOD PERSON FOR EDWARD HER FACE LOOKS LIKE A TROLL. WHAT DOES HE EVEN SEE HER IN HER? I REALLY HOPE SHE DIES EVENTUALLY BECAUSE EDWARD DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER DON'T YOUTHINK? I MEAN, I'M SORRY IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S SOME AMAZINGH PERSON WHO CAN COOL AND WILL CLEAN FOR HIM AND GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS LIKE I WOULD. I WOULD TOTALLY ROCK HIS WORLD IF HE MET ME I JUST KNOW IT...JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE EDWORD YOU KNOW YOU'D LOVE ME FOREVAHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHH! CAN'T WAIT TILL PARTY 3 COMES OUT IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!

LOVE YOU.

One of the artists here (Heri!) really loves Twilight, but he likes to pretend he's so above it and makes fun of those (me) who show just an ounce of interest in the movie. Whatever. BELLA 4 EVAH!

It's happend with Jesus on pieces of cloth and tree bark, and now it's happening with Michael Jackson on hospital baby scans. What you see here is not just a baby, but the majestic face of the King of Pop Himself, Michael Jackson. This is such a miracle, you guys. How blessed are the parents of this child? Not only does their child look like Michael Jackson, but he'll probably sound and grab his crotch just the way He did. They can only hope, we're sure.

In the name of the Father, Son, and Michael Jackson. Amen.

(via Telegraph.co.uk)