Iron Mike was so jacked up on blow that he told the cops he snorted chazz "every chance he got." Then he licked their faces and ate their babies.

Awards shows suck: the stuff you want to win never does, and frickin’ DiCaprio always ends up taking home a prize. Well don’t worry your pretty little face, this is the first annual Booth Babes Awards, and that means EVERYONE wins.

Tracy Morgan was going to make a "Jackass"-type movie, but he's too black to do all those stupid, crazy stunts!

The only thing harder than being black in Aspen is being Irish in Kuala Lumpur.

Britney, when will you learn that we want pizza on a PLATE, not on your FACE!

This guy is proud of how clean he gets his windows, but the countless bruised faces leaving the store are thanks enough.

It's like magic shoes for the white and rhythmless! Don't leave home without it!

I’m dreaming of a Black Christmas, thanks to these boobs!

At Christmas everybody’s got a little soul.

The tragic part comes when you wash the words off, and you can't remember which side is which.

Oh Kiki Drunkst, you snaggle-faced bitch.

Kirsten Vangsness loves black people. And so do I.

Andy Dick "releases" in a public men's room. And he looks great in skinny black pants.

Rest your head on the face of a mediocre comedian! Just kidding, we love Ben Stiller. Except for Along Came Polly, that movie sucked.

She may style Lindsay and Nicole, but the drapes she has for a face certainly need to be ironed out!

When practicing physically-demanding breakdance techniques, make sure your buddies don't hate your face.

This douche thinks he's enough of a karate expert to make videos. He can't even break boards with his face!

Jack Black is totally against piracy. And he made a Public Service Announcement to prove it.

MC BlakkBeard brings new meaning to the phrase "Yo Ho Ho!"

Simplest Rule of Comedy: falling on your face is hilarious!