Tells most people that this is an incredibly bad idea.

Surprisingly useful at soothing a baby.

Check out this dude from the 'People's Court' crowd.

I didn't know that people could just make up sports?!!???

I love just messing with people, like this.

Better than most people.

National Geographic has some interesting news, regarding how many people will be alive in 2011.

Obviously, people had quite a few objections to this ad.

As always, there's a "friend" holding the video camera and laughing.

Now that's entertainment!

With his birthday less than a week away, I thought we'd check in with Jesus at The Holy Land Experience. The HLE is an Orlando theme park that approximizes what Jerusalem would have been like if Jesus had been of northern European descent and Roman soldiers had purchased their armor at a Halloween shop. Check out the full video of his crucifixion. It's sort of like crossing the Passion of the Christ with a Sea World show. In other words, it can't miss. Admission to the park is $35. They also accept donations.

Newly elected West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin taught us all a valuable Christmas lesson on Saturday, when he attended a family Christmas party. No big deal, right? Except that it was during the voting for the DREAM act and the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal. The Senator inspired slackers everywhere by not showing up to do his job and instead going to a party, then proceeded to inspire blowhards everywhere by criticizing the DADT decision that he didn't see fit to vote on. The Senate is currently rescheduling important votes to make sure they don't conflict with Manchin's anniversary, birthday, or his niece's piano recital. One thing's for sure, though. Republicans will not be able to accuse the Democratic Manchin of being "at war with Christmas".

I hate to say "I told you so", but I've been a fan of breasts for many years, and now I know why. According to this CNN video, which I did not bother to watch, breast-fed kids get better grades. The title of the video makes one thing perfectly clear to me: before a test, put a boob in your mouth. Maybe even multiple boobs. And in case you disagree, I'd like to point out that I was breast-fed as an infant, which means I can never be wrong. Feel free to pass this on to any women in your life who have been stingy in their breast deployment. If they continue on that path, they're against education. Simple as that.