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Sociopathlete Round-Up

By: Tom L
November 23 2010, 12:28 PM

The road to professional sports is one of the most effective sociopath assembly lines in the world. Separated from their peers by talent as kids, pandered to as teenagers, and idolized as adults, today's college and professional athletes know that forgiveness is only one contrite press conference away. We keep track of their antisocial behavior and marvel at their sociopathleticism in the Sociopathlete Round-Up.


Sociopathlete: Brett Favre, Quarterback, Minnesota Vikings
Brett Favre has the distinction of making the sociopathlete round-up merely by playing his sport. His massive ego demands that he keep the spotlight on himself for as long as the media will indulge him. His head coach was just beheaded. His team is 3 and 7 after losing to division rival Green Bay by a score of 31 to 3. At home. He's owed a minimum of 17 million dollars for this effort. And in case you didn't hear, he texted a picture of his penis to a woman who isn't his wife. And it was flaccid.

Sociopathlete: Tony Parker, Guard, San Antonio Spurs

In the "shockingly sociopathletic" category, a Frenchman turned out to be a lecherous cad. Tony Parker didn't cheat on his wife with Erin Barry, wife of former teammate Brent Barry, according to Parker and his people. They were just sexting. Thanks, Tony. For a second we though you were a complete fucking asshole.

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Minor League Baseball Brawl

Minor League Baseball Brawl

It is good to see minor leaguers are learning how to kick some ass. Hopefully they get called up and teach Barry or A-Rod a lesson or two with their fists.

 

Hulk Bonds

Hulk Bonds

Barry Bonds tied and broke the home run record. Did he use steroids? That’s debatable...HULK SMASH!

 

756 mg

756 mg

Barry Bonds passed Hank Aaron last night. There is still no evidence that this should raise suspicion.

 

Barry Bonds

Barry Bonds

That poor, poor athlete.