You mean he didn't bang Alba? That's the only reason to be happy these days.

We all hate PETA because they're just generally horrible and annoying. But if more of them looked like the above, we'd have reason to like them. And then bang them.

Jerri Blank from Strangers with Candy is the one girl we would never, ever bang. Fun fact! Here are the 10 trashiest quotes from the cult show.

Oksana Pochepa is the Russian pop star who's allegedly banging Mel Gibson. We salute you, Mel Gibson. Girls who don't speak English are sexy.

Yes, Anna Kournikova is looking at your love handles and thinking she definitely doesn't want to bang you.

What does Anna Kournikova's tattoo mean? That you can never bang someone as hot as her.

Love or hate her, you all want to bang her.

Start the New Year with a bang – with boobs you’d like to bang.

Find out if America's hottest hockey mom, Sarah Palin, wants to have your babies.

It’s time to choose which mug shot you’d rather bang. Fun!

We don't care that she's a hundred years old or banged Michael Bolton. Nicolette is bangin'.

This week we celebrate models who’ve dated celebrities – not to get ahead, but for love!

There's a Ross and Rachel joke here somewhere but it's best not to think too much about John Mayer banging Jennifer Aniston.

Eastern Conference Champions are old school. No fancy gimmicks or studio trickery. They just put one guy on drums, another on bass and have the singer bang out some guitar chords. The result is a refreshingly awesome blend of rock that will have your feet stomping and head nodding. Don’t believe me? Well they’re just a click away!

These babes used their boobs to seduce Santa and his elves. See if you can use your little helper to figure out who they are.

Who’d you rather let’s you make all the same choices Bond would. Like which girl to bang then never ever talk about again.

Jessica bangs John Meyer, Israel’s bombs explode, and a polygamist leader blasts off to jail. Philip Norris has the stories – and he’s completely un-Photoshopped.

Deciding which city you’d rather bang is a little awkward, don’t you think? But it’s an intellectual exercise worth taking.

"Dude, so last night, I banged this awesome 5-inch plastic doll. I think she liked it."